Big Chilli Magazine Interview with Dean Barrett

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What does Christmas mean to you?

Christmas means that the go go dancers in Bangkok’s bar areas will be in a festive mood and many will dress in red-and-white Christmas outfits and look like succulent, curvaceous, erotic little elves which contrasts beautifully with their luscious brown complexions so it means it’s a good time to hang about Bangkok’s nightlife areas.

 

How are you spending Christmas this year?

I may well spend Christmas with go go dancers in Bangkok’s bar areas as they will most likely be in a festive mood and many will dress in red-and-white Christmas outfits and look like succulent, curvaceous, erotic little elves which contrasts beautifully with their luscious brown complexions so it means it’s a good time to hang about Bangkok’s nightlife areas.

 

What Christmas traditions do you observe?

I tend to observe those traditions involving go go dancers in Bangkok’s bar areas who will most likely be in a festive mood as they dress in red-and-white Christmas outfits and look like succulent, curvaceous, erotic little elves which contrasts beautifully with their luscious brown complexions so it means it’s a good time to hang about Bangkok’s nightlife areas.

 

What’s your favourite Christmas memory?

Seeing inebriated go go dancers dressed as Santa Claus stripping and go go dancing to “Brown Girl in the Ring” up on stages at the Mississippi Queen bar, circa 1979, Patpong.

 

What’s the best Christmas present you’ve ever received?

That would be the quite personal gifts that Lek and Noy bestowed upon me early one Christmas morning while my tape deck was blaring out “The Little Drummer Boy.”

 

What was the worst Christmas present you’ve ever received?

A one year subscription to The Big Chilli.

 

What do you want for Christmas this year?

Peace on earth and my musical on Broadway and my books on best seller lists.  But if my musical cannot get on Broadway, and if my books cannot get onto best seller lists, then let there be war and let many perish.

 

Do you think Christmas is overly commercialized?

Only in Middle Eastern Muslim countries like Saudi Arabia.

 

What are your plans for New Year’s Eve?

New Year’s Eve means that the go go dancers in Bangkok’s bar areas will be in a festive mood and many will dress in colorful and bizarre outfits and get drunk and blow horns and whatever else is in the vicinity so it means it’s a good time to hang about Bangkok’s nightlife areas.

 

What New Year’s resolutions are you making this year?

I am in the process of listing several resolutions all involving my showing more emotional maturity and acting my age and appreciating the inner beauty of women as opposed to only craving their outer charms and plan on spending very little time in Bangkok’s nightlife areas during next year.

 

What do you think your chances are of keeping them?

What are the chances of Sarah Palin and Hilary Clinton running on the same ticket?

 

What was your highlight of last year?

The year isn’t over yet but so far that would have to be the underwater wedding of Whore House Charlie and Good Pork Betty just as the first of the school of sharks showed up.

 

What are you looking forward to next year?

The Taliban's plans for Afghanistan.  Taksin’s plans for a comeback.  More restrictions on drinking and smoking in Bangkok.

 

Give us one prediction for next year.

At least one of my books will be attacked in the Bangkok press by a Western feminazi. This will as usual help sell books.

 

What’s your favorite New Year’s hangover cocktail?

Virgin-on-the-rocks with a dash of cherry.

 

Happy New Year!

 

 

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