Welcome Page - Page two of two

 

A Writer's Notebook

For those interested in writing, reading,

and publishing

 

 

Assassins: A Fairytale (or)

How Religious Fanatics and Politically Correct Assholes

are Killing the Arts (and sometimes the Artists)

Around the World

 

 

On Board A Tall Ship

The 24-gun frigate HMS Rose

 

 

What Animal Corresponds to Your Time of Birth

(and why it matters)

 

 

Advice for the Lovelorn:

A Respected Scholar offers Advice 

for Confused & Beautiful Young Women

 

 

Herbs and Spices in History

Those wonderful things that make your pad thai gai worth eating

 

 

Need to lose weight and improve your sex life?

A Farang Hypnotherapist in the Land of Smiles

 

 

One-Act Plays you Might Enjoy

(Because they're short & sexy)

 

Learn more about the Bangkok School of fiction by checking out ThaiOasis.com

 

Advertising: Personals

I am a white, heterosexual male writer, somewhat long-in-the-tooth, looking for a beautiful, succulent, curvaceous young Thai woman who has her own car and apartment and income, who hates superficial American-style babbling about "relationships" and who will treat me as if I am the best thing to come along since grasshoppers deep fried in hot pepper oil.  You should be fluent in English and be able to discuss Theater of the Absurd, Brecht's Alienation Effect, Camus's philosophy, the music of Beethoven and Mozart, the writing of Fante and Bukowski and Burroughs and Hammett and Chandler and Chester Himes and R.H. van Gulik, and the poetry of Li Po and Tu Fu, but you should be smart enough never to actually discuss such stuff unless I ask you to.  You should be great in bed and willing to wear lingerie and black leather and thong bikinis at home but dress conservatively when out shopping, blame yourself on those rare occasions when I don't get a hard-on, be willing to put toothpaste on my toothbrush, be allergic to ATM machines, never ask for money, never get jealous or suspicious, never look at other men, and, basically, offer me pain-free love.  And, of course, you will place loyalty to me ahead of loyalty to your family.  Please send your application to: deanbarr@loxinfo.co.th.

*************

 

Notices of Vital Importance:

 

All material on this website copyright © Dean Barrett 2005-2014.  Should you lift material from this site without permission, the actor Russell Crowe will be sent to your place of residence and he will beat the stuffing out of you, or, at the very least, throw a phone at you.  Be afraid.  Be VERY afraid.

 

Should you find any of the photographs or illustrations on this website offensive or insulting in any way, please contact the webmaster, and he will enlarge them.

 

Please remember to turn off your cellphones before entering this website.  This website has been programmed with the latest version of digital orgasmic cellular transfer® (DOCT) and due to the ultra high frequency outflow of orgasmic blacktooth/blueberry digital cellular spermatic waves® (DCSW) it may cause you to experience intense orgasms through your cellphonic Wi-Fi wavelengths.

 

Special offer to readers of this website:  Buy a copy of any Dean Barrett book at full retail price and you will then be able to buy as many as you like at the same price.  Offer limited!  Please hurry!

 

 

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"Kingdom of Make-Believe captures a slice of Thailand as it really is -- and was.  The novel could only have been written by one who has experienced the Kingdom – and felt the pangs of seeing its magic mirrors crack and shatter.”

- Denis Gray, Chief of Bureau, AP, Bangkok