THAILAND NIGHTLIFE REVIEW

 

 

Welcome to my website.  Unlike the universe, this website has a purpose: to offer rants, tirades, opinions and discussion about books on Thailand, give an overview of nightlife in Thailand and, yes, to provide a few news items which might not appear elsewhere.  And to have some fun.

Bar, club and restaurant owners who would like to send material on their special events, birthday bashes, anniversary parties, etc., are welcome to do so but please remember men in Thailand are a bit jaded so if you’re just going to offer the usual free gourmet food and free full band entertainment and free beautiful and eager-to-please women, well, the lads have been there, done that. So do try to offer potential patrons something special. ;-)

There is a contest every month when this column appears and the first to answer the question correctly or identify a photograph correctly will receive vouchers worth at least 4,000 baht in food and drink, i.e., 500 baht each, from Larry's Dive, Shadow Bar, The Old Dutch, the Big Mango, Electric Blue, The Duke of Wellington pub, Doll House and Bourbon Street Restaurant. The prizes will build up in case anyone doesn't win it immediately so the bonanza for the eventual winner could get quite interesting.  It will double to 8,000 and, if still no winner, to 12,000, etc.  Second prize is a "I Support Single Moms" T-shirt.  Third prize is an After Dark calendar.  And please remember a part of all money received from the sale of my books goes to needy Thais (in the form of payment to go go dancers, waitresses and hostesses).

 

Special for Dana - Coming Next Month: More of Khun Fon in Buriram.  Lots more!

 

Welcome to the Year of the Tiger!

This tiger I photographed in Bangkok's Chinatown is holding a bat.  Which is because the sound of "bat" in Chinese is similar to a character for "getting rich" and Chinese love homophones and getting rich but not in that order.

 

What would life be without a lovely 27-year-old maiden at Nataree Massage and such like her?  Let us hope we never have to find out.

 

A friend of mine went to Nataree the other day for the first time.  He loved it.  He chose one of the ones sitting around outside the glass, (not one in the fishbowl, so to speak).  She was a lovely, sweet 19-year-old from Chiang Rai who spoke no English and my friend speaks no Thai.  Anyway, later I heard how it went.  She gave him a great bath in a huge tub after which he lay down on the bed on his stomach awaiting his massage.  The girl of course had no clue as to what he was doing because the last thing she would know how to give is a massage.  Finally, my friend understood and they proceeded happily from there.  I can just imagine later when she went downstairs she and her friends probably had a good laugh about the crazy foreigner who actually expected a massage in a Thai massage parlor, especially in one on Rajadapiset Road.  I'm surprised she didn't call the police and report the pervert.

 

March 20

Texas Lone Star Bar, Washington Square

Book signing 3 - 4:30

Dean Barrett, Stephen Leather, Christopher Moore

Free lunch at 3

 

 

 

Hear Ye!  Hear Ye!  Hear Ye!

A Vicious Brawl among Demure Maidens & Other Exciting News on Soi Cowboy

 

Piles and Piles of whatever in front of what is supposed to become the Sahara Bar.  Goodbye Tony's; goodbye Joe's.

 

OK, as of 1 March, the soon-to-be Sahara Bar at left is in progress; as is the soon-to-be Apache beer bar at right.

 

Apache Bar opened March 7th.

 

Well, it seems the shit finally hit the fan at Midnite Bar.  There was a brawl between go go dancers and coyote dancers and coyote dancers were moved to the "Arab's" Kiss Bar.  One of the cutest Coyote dancers got kicked in the mouth and wasn't seen for days.  Apparently a fight over a customer.  The latest meeting decided that no, girls cannot sit down outside with customers because of strange Thai logic the management of Midnite bar came up with.  I have friends who say their bills were inevitably padded at Midnite bar and when reluctantly corrected were done so on a separate piece of paper or else new amounts written in.  Sure enough, according to those in the know, bills are padded at that bar and it seems the cashier is getting drinks from customers that the customers don't know about.  The girls were told to be quiet about the bill-padding. To be fair to the Iranian owner, I am told by those who know that no bills are padded in the Kiss Bar and it does seem as though the bill padding is done by some employees in Midnite and is not a policy of the owner.  It is too bad about Midnite because they were trying to do something new and entertaining with the Friday and Saturday choreographed shows.  But the shows were cancelled because so many of the coyote dancers moved to the other bar.  Wait for the new Sahara bar to open which will be the 6th "Arab" bar on Soi Cowboy.  Rumor-Control Headquarters says it will be a bar for coyote dancers only.  Time will tell.  In any case, the coyote girls cannot be barfined which seems strange to me for an establishment on Soi Cowboy but whatever works I guess.  But I wonder where all the customers for all these bars will come from?

 

After I wrote the above paragraph my friend had yet another big problem with a padded bill, this time at Kiss bar.  Mistake? Let's just say when you go to one of the Arab's bars - or any bar for that matter - check your bill.  Carefully.  Whether or not the owner of a bar is being ripped off by his staff or not, if you are, that is what is important.

 

The Apache Bar has closed and I am told it will be made into a beer bar.  As long as it is more interesting than the Apache was I would give it a good chance of succeeding.  The girls were nice enough and fun to talk to but I can't remember ever seeing a good looking woman dancing inside the Apache.  Some were quite plump, as well, not my thing, but yet not fat like those in Cactus.  So the girls were not interesting to those looking for "stunners" nor big enough for those who like "large women."  Anyway, let's wait and see what the beer bar looks like.  The Apache maidens which used to be on the roof of the bar were put up on e-bay and sold I am told for around US$6,000.  The Shadow bar has been a real success for the NoName group so the new beer bar may be also.  My own theory is that when they took down the Apache Indian maidens the bar lost its mojo and that's when business in the bar went to hell in a handbasket.  But that's just my theory...

 

I got the rundown on the pay for the coyotes: Base salary is 10000 bht, then they get 50 bht per drink, with a quota of 100 drinks per month.  So if they make quota, they make another 5000 bht. Tips are on top of that, which are highly variable, but at least one coyote dancer estimated they average about 5000 bht. per month. 
 
She says the salary at Mojos is the same, 10000 bht.  I know from long experience that Mojos girls also get 50 bht per drink, but they have a quota of 150, and most girls there make quota and more.  So that would put the base salary + drinks commission at Mojos at 17500 bht, and of course tips on top of that.  I would estimate the salary (base + drink commissions) would be about 18000 bht, and with tips, she makes about 25000 bht.  Not bad!  And, surprise, surprise, some of the non-barfineable coyote dancers on Soi Cowboy do allow themselves to be persuaded to be barfined.  Surprise, surprise...

By the way, some of the girls at Baccara actually do 50 barfines a month!  Incredible! 

OK, now I have received still more info on the Soi Cowboy coyotes.  It seems they do not work for the bars they are in.  They have a manager of their own who pays them.  So when my friend last had a problem in one of the Arab bars and the mamasan said the girls would have to pay for the reduced bill for drinks they went and got their manager.  Tilac bar, not owned by the Iranian, works the same way.  Which means if you are in one of these bars with coyotes and go go dancers both, then you can be sure the mama-san will side with the go go dancers, especially if your bill has been padded.  Aiiyaaahhhh!  Confusing to me.  And as a friend said, he hates to see these coyote dancers anyway, especially at Cowboy.  As he put it, "Yeah, they are pretty and dance well but are not available for barfining.  Just for looking.  Well, isn't that the exact situation we escaped from in the West?!"

 

OK, here is a customer's experience in two of the "Arab" bars:

 

Midnite:
 
I first started noticing a while back that my bill suddenly seemed larger than it should be/and that I expected it to be, but I hadn't been paying close enough attention so I couldn't prove anything.
 
When I really started noticing the problem is when I had ordered beer for myself (90bht) and lady drinks for coyotes (200bht), and then suddenly my bill ended in a "35"  How was that possible?
 
Here is what I discovered when I started paying close attention and questioning the staff:
 
The correct check bin in the bars should show an itemized list of the drinks you ordered, and a new total.  When you order more drinks, it should show your preceding balance, then the new drinks you ordered itemized, then your new balance. 
 
What happens at about your 3rd round is you will get the check bin back with just a total, nothing else, and it will be higher than it should be.  Since by now I was keeping track of every drink, I knew what the correct total should be so when this happened I sent the bill back immediately with the instruction it should be corrected.  I'd usually get a bill back with the correct amount handwritten over the computer print-out inflated total.
 
The scheming was so blatant in Midnite, that even after I sent a bill back; even after everyone was on notice I was checking the bill, they'd actually try to pad my bill again on the very next round.  When I started questioning the staff it was even more disturbing: the dancers have been instructed not to tell the customers to check their bills.  It is a joke among the staff that the cashier gets more lady drinks than any of the dancers, but that the customers have no idea they're buying them.  There is a rumor among the dancers that one of the mamasans boasts of making up to 100,000 bht per month off the stolen drinks scheme. 
 
Kiss:
 
The cashier there is supposed to not be padding bills, but about my 3rd visit there, I got a padded bill.  What happened is I got complacent and let a waitress take the check bin up for a new round, instead of insisting the dancer take it up, after telling her what the correct total should be, and telling her further if she brings back a bill with a higher amount, not to bother coming back. This time the scheme was subtly different: the waitress had left with a check-bin totaling 1440 baht, and she returned with a check bin that properly itemized the drinks I'd just bought, but had added those drinks to a previous balance of 1800 bht, not 1440. 
 
This one was more interesting, because initially they refused to correct the bill, then made a pen and ink correction which was still too high.  Finally 2 managers and a mamasan got involved, and they went back and reconstructed my entire bill.  They went into a big plastic bag of check bins, and brought out each successive check bin as they mounted up to the 1440.  What we discovered happened was this: the waitress took my 1440 check bin to the cashier, and ordered herself and a friend a lady drink (without permission of course).  That brought the check up to 1800.  She then handed that bill back to the cashier and the cashier then added the drinks I ordered. Of course, the dancers were witness to my version of events and corroborated that I did not buy any drinks for the waitresses.  When this was discovered, management corrected my bill without further argument.  In this instance, I well understand why the cashier wouldn't correct my bill, the cashier was innocent as well.
 
 
The moral of the story:  Check your bill in these bars every time.  If you are buying drinks for a dancer, have her go up for the drinks, not the waitress.  Show her the total on the check bin, get her to agree to it, then tell her, based on the order, what the new total should be. I've told the dancers to tell the cashier I'm checking each bill, and just to blame it on me so they don't get in trouble.  When I've done this, I've had correct bills.  Of course, the real moral is take your business elsewhere.
 
 
It is a shame really, as this owner has done some things well.  His bars are clean and look nice inside.  There has been an effort to hire attractive girls and to do shows.  But it is being spoiled by thieving staff driving the customers away.

 

A Few More Notes from Soi Cowboy:

A Friday night on Soi Cowboy and about ten o'clock.  Went into Shark Bar and found no seats available at all!  That's what comes from hiring good-looking dancers.  Next went to Dollhouse with a few friends and we were amazed!  Over the years, as even manager Mark admits, Dollhouse has gone up and down in quality.  Well, let me tell you, it has now gone way up.  More very good looking girls dancing both upstairs and downstairs than I had seen in there in a long time.  Several very good-locking!  Well done Mark & Darel!  Shadow Bar was doing good business and then we moseyed over to Rawhide where Charlie-the-Thai-Muay-Thai expert got up on stage in Muay-Thai shorts and began the wai kru ceremony to the boxing music.  Then three of the sexiest go go dancers in the place got up on stage, topless and shoeless and went at him, swinging around poles to try to kick him, trying to hit him, etc.  Great fun and the girls were having a ball up there.  Charlie is an expert at faking falls and fell from the stage as if kicked a few times.  Great stuff but I couldn't take any video as the girls were topless.  YouTube's loss...

 

Lovely back, what?

 

Good God, Stephen Leather is back in town.  And he's conferring with Peter, owner of the No Name Group of Bars; no good can come of that.

 

Meanwhile, on Sukhumvit soi 23, just off Soi Cowboy, this person knows how to relax.  Massage anyone?

 

I put a new short video up on Youtube: pictures of pretty Thai women while I read the poem "Moving to Bangkok" from the book The Go Go Dancer who Stole My Viagra & other Poetical Tragedies of Thailand:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rnz0hDA2Wj4

 

 

Oh, you Thai beauty, you!!  Stop making me crazy!!  No, wait, don't stop!!

 

 

In fact, I put up yet another one on Youtube from the same book.  The poem is called "Eternitites Must End."

 

                                         http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J3gCISryZlY

 

 

 

 

 

Soi Cowboy celebrated Valentine's Day in style; love (and the kaching of cash registers) was in the air

 

Mark from Spanky's is now 50% owner in The Strip, Patpong 2. Work stars tomorrow to change it over to Spanky's II.  Work should be finished in the next 2 to 3 weeks. Meanwhile, down in Pattaya there are now so many Russians (and there are a shit load) that most bars are switching over to draft vodka. Got that, comrade? Expect to see borsch on most menus soon. Most somtam vendors will be offering this soon also.

 

Check out this picture of Mojo's coyote dancers with a Florida bar T-shirt "Sea Hags" given them by a customer.  The customer spends time in Florida and the owner in the bar he frequents in Tampa was looking forward to putting this picture up on the bar's website.  He loved it!  His wife didn't.  She says you can see the underwear of the girl.  Actually, it is a bathing outfit.  And the bar is by the beach where people go in any which way.  But, nope, the wife didn't like it, so the picture will not be appearing on the bar's website.  Now do you understand why Washington Square is so full of veterans who fought for their country and would again but definitely do not want to live there?

 

 

 

 

The Self-Destructive Instinct of Thai Nightlife Girls

 

 

All generalizations are dangerous and I am about to generalize; nonetheless, I think the more you know the nightlife scene in Thailand the more truth you will find in what I say.  Thai nightlife girls seem to have some kind of self-destructive instinct.  I am not talking about the low self-esteem many Essarn girls have which allows their Thai boyfriends to take their money and beat them up every now and then.  I think Khun Nana has covered that subject quite well in past columns.  I mean the horrible choices the girls often make when it comes to which farang to pick or lying when it is totally unnecessary and silly and obvious.

 

I could give many examples over the years I have been here but here are a few.  I guy I know who is very smart and still in his 40's and a nice guy and a really great catch for a Thai nightlife girl really liked a Thai go go dancer from Essarn but she would hardly give him the time of day.  Eventually she did move in with him but soon disappeared without notice and ended up go go dancing in a bar.  Then she got pregnant from some farang who took off back to Madrid or Detroit or Manchester or wherever and she needed help and asked my friend for it so my friend is helping her.  So she won't get him but at least, thanks to his generosity, she had somewhere to go. 

 

Another friend had a dancer on a 20,000-baht retainer which meant barring emergencies she would come up to his place when he called and once they had agreed on the time.  She soon began making excuses and it was clear she was mucking about with other guys.  My friend didn't mind that she mucked about with other guys; didn't mind at all.  But he minded the "I go to doctor" lies which in various ways he found out to be untrue.  The point is she needn't have lied at all and if she had been really sick, no problem.  But the deal was she did have to go to his apartment when he called her ahead of time and they made an appointment.  She cancelled enough of the appointments and was caught in enough obvious lies that my friend called off the deal and she is now out 20,000 baht a month. 

 

The girlfriend of another friend told him she was going up north to be with her mother for a month.  No problem.  Then a friend of my friend got "tagged" for a picture that a friend of the girl put up on the girl's Facebook account.  (Not realizing it would get her friend in trouble.)  It showed the girl having fun with a supposedly "ex-boyfriend" in a totally different part of the country while she said she was up north with her mama.  His friend showed it to the guy in question and the rest is history, so is their relationship, so is the monthly income she was receiving from him.

 

In that regard, this is a paragraph from my forthcoming detective novel Permanent Damage:

Whoever she was speaking with seemed to be making her angry.  According to Noy, the mama-san of the bar, Lek’s Canadian boyfriend had bought her the latest cell phone which had made Lek very happy – until she learned that the phone was outfitted with G.P.S. location-aware technology.  Which meant that she could no longer lie to him about being back home in the rice fields when she was in fact working in a Bangkok bar which he was sending her money every month to stay out of.  Lek had learned the hard way that not all technology works in favor of Thai bargirls.

And, of course, Facebook and other time-sucking social networking whatever sites can work for or against people.  I put up a very scanty site on Facebook myself only when a Virginia police officer told me that sometimes police track these things for information and for leads and friends of suspects, etc. etc. so I figured I better at least know the basics, which is all I know or want to know.

 

No doubt there are old farts who really believe that a beautiful young Thai woman loves him for himself rather than for security, and no doubt such occasions exist, rare though they may be.  But most elderly guys who have been in Thailand a while accept the fact that the girl may muck about a bit and no harm done if all is above board and they both know the score as far as what each expects of the other.  Besides, though it may cause feminazis to go apoplectic, my belief is that if an elderly guy is giving a woman the security she needs including access to his ATM or whatever, and she is giving him access to her youth and beauty, and they are both happy with the arrangement, then everybody else should just fuck off.

 

Obviously not all nightlife girls are like those above in being dishonest or telling unnecessary and silly lies but many do seem to have no common sense in making choices.  There just seems to be a lack of sound judgment or a firm belief that the farang is so stupid he will believe all that they say.  Needless to say they are young and even Tiger Woods at 30 screwed up Big Time.  Still, if they are really the golddiggers some say they are, they certainly go about acquiring their fortune in a strange way.  Lack of judgment, lack of common sense and, yes, sometimes lack of scruples: a deadly combination if a Thai nightlife girl is trying to make her (i.e. take your) pile of gold.

 

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I've put out a wanted poster on Khun Cheer!

 

 

A sexy coyote dancer poses for the camera.

 

 

And a few more for good measure.

 

 

Mucking about in Chinatown during Lunar New Year

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thais and Thai-Chinese had great fun celebrating the new Year of the Tiger in Chinatown.  Lots of fireworks, dances, special sweets, red packets, offerings at temples, and ghost money, etc., was being burned right on our very own Soi Cowboy:

 

 

 

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Khun Nana's Corner

Khun Nana is a savvy local expat who keeps in shape by hitting most of the bars of Nana Plaza as often as possible.  From his vast experience, he will enlighten and entertain us with his recollections of the bar scene be they humorous, tragic or somewhere in between.

 

I was watching an interesting film the other day about a young American gal who had moved to Japan and was working in a noodle shop.  She was learning how to cook the traditional Japanese way and in her spare time was meeting new and exciting people and discovering an entire new way of life.  Just as I was thinking that her chosen path was similar to mine, another character in the film asked her if she ever planned on returning to America and her response was “oh it’s so bland, beige and boring, I would rather die than go back there.”  I couldn’t have said it better myself. 

Though I did come up with a rather good quote the other day when an older friend began telling me how ancient he has been feeling lately and my response was “you are only as old as the girl you feel.” 

Last week I was out and about with my favorite sexy lithe young university girlfriend when we decided to go back to her place to relax.  I am still not sure how it happened, but suddenly she began to become annoyed with me (can you imagine that??) so in my usual caveman way I thought having a bit of Khun Nana inside of her was just the trick to bring about the needed attitude adjustment.  Yeah, I know that I really am a pig.  So I proceeded to rip off her clothes in spite of the fact that she was certainly not in an amorous mood to say the least.  At first she made a weak attempt to thwart my efforts, but then relented and just stared straight at me with that “this is the last thing in the world I want to do right now, but if you really have to do it you disgusting pig than just go ahead” look on  her face.  Well dear readers, I know that a good man would have stopped right there.  I know that a better man would have just walked away.  But then a better man wouldn’t waste his time writing this column, therefore being almost forced to suffer the most perverted sexual experiences for the sake of retelling the sordid tales to an audience that is most certainly even more depraved, so I ploughed dead ahead and ravished her (just for you guys!) in spite of her less than welcoming demeanor.  And it was some of the best sex we have ever had!!   

I learned a few things from this experience.  First of all, I learned that I am comfortable with my shortcomings and character flaws and that makes me feel even more of a man.  Secondly, I learned that angry sex can be even better than hot sex!  Wow it was just phenomenal.  She even slapped me upside the head a few times and it actually felt good.  And lastly, I learned that I can write song lyrics in my head while having really hot, angry monkey sex.  There is a song from the 1970’s about a guy who has all sorts of hopes and dreams but eventually abandons it all and just becomes a taxi driver.  One night his old flame gets in his cab and after some polite chit chat she sees how he has given up on all of his dreams, and she feels so sorry for him that she hands him a huge tip upon reaching her destination.  The lyrics are something like “another man might have been angry, and another man might have been hurt, but another man never would have let her go, I stuffed the bill in my shirt.” 

Well, during my amazing session of hot, angry monkey sex that song was going through my mind, but I changed the lyrics to the following: “Another man might have been horny, and another man might have been hot, and a better man surely would have walked away, I stuffed my co*k up her skirt.” 

One of the many things I just adore about Thai gals is how much effort they put into pleasing their man.  Recently after a hot sexual liaison with one of my many “geeks” (Thai term for a lover whom you are not committed to) I was jokingly razzing her about how when she goes south with the mouth, as pleasurable as it may be, she has yet to learn how to get the whole thing down her throat.  I told her she should go home and practice with a banana, and then next time we are together she can service me in a more acceptable manner.  Lo and behold I phoned her just a few days later (no reason to make the poor thing suffer without me just because she is a clumsy lover) and she excitedly told me that she was practicing with bananas every day and that I better come over and discover for myself how her level of skill has improved.  Then she asked if I could speak with her roommate about this whole concept, so her very sexy 19 year old best mate gets on the phone and starts asking me in detail about the proper ways to satisfy a man.  The best part was when she asked “if I can do all of this, do you think I can get a foreign boyfriend?  I am really close to being able to swallow the entire banana I promise.”  Yeah, I guess I know a few guys who may want a shot at the roommate as she is strictly off limits for me.  Man we are so lucky to have Thai gals in this world. 

Living in Paradise really does get under a guy’s skin.  I like to say that after living here more than a year or so a bloke becomes beyond redemption, beyond the point where living in farangland again is even possible.  Recently I was reminded of this phenomenon when I bumped into a Dutch friend of mine named Harry sitting at his favorite perch at the beer bar in front of Nana Hotel.  Harry and I had met at that same spot a few years ago, and we became good mates quickly, eating our meals together, venturing to all the nightlife spots and even managed to hit Pattaya together a time or two.  This guy just loved messing around with Thai hotties.   Harry would stay in Paradise a month or so and then begrudgingly fly back to his own little corner of hell that he calls Holland.  We had many adventures together during his many stays, and each time he returned we would email almost daily and we would phone each other often, and I would make him salivate with my tales of debauchery and hedonism in my chosen home of Thailand.  Then one day Harry stopped emailing or calling, and I must admit I was disappointed to no longer be in touch with my  Dutch mate as he was really a good guy in every sense of the word.  Then just the other day I saw him back at his favorite spot and we greeted each other and I sat down to have a diet coke (I never drink alcohol in the daytime) and catch up on how life had been treating good old Harry.  Naturally, I asked him why he suddenly stopped contacting me and this is what he had to say:  “All of those times I came to Thailand really got under my skin.  It got to the point where I would be sitting at home in Holland and would just be day dreaming about Bangkok and wouldn’t even bother to go out to do anything or even pick up the phone and call a friend.  Every aspect of living in Paradise is so much more exciting than being at home that my life there became unbearable.  Since I don’t have enough money to just pack up and move here, I decided to cut off any contact with Paradise, including chatting with you, as it was the only way I could tolerate my mundane existence.”  How can I be angry at the poor sap?

Until next time,  Khun Nana

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"Never play cards with a man called Doc. Never eat at a place called Mom's. Never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own." Nelson Algren From A Walk on the Wild Side (1956)

 

 

Alas, topless dancing may be in at Nana Plaza, but cleaning up the place is not.  But, as you can see, Nana is trying to get some entertainment in there to keep the action flowing.  And, yes, the girls in the Rainbow bars are quite spectacular and Angelwitch is always good entertainment.

 

 

My friend commented on these bugs flying about under lamps along Sukhumvit; his Thai girlfriend gave him a rundown on how delicious they are with which sauces.  Oh, yeah!

 

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http://www.ClubElectricBlue.com

I'm curious: does anybody know what these buildings with a gothic facade and rose windows but no cross are being used for?  (Somewhere off of Sathorn Road)

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Bangkok Nightlife: Why Competition is Good!

OK, so I was sitting in one of my favorite Soi Cowboy bars and feeling a bit horny and over comes a lovely 23-year-old for whom I bought a drink.  After a bit of chit-chat I asked if she would like to be barfined.  I had taken her once before and liked her even though she is not spectacular in bed.  She asked for how long?  I told her it was up to her to choose from the choices I offered.  I was willing to barfine her for an hour, or all night, or for a few days, or for getting married.  Whatever she liked.  I knew she was as quiet as she is beautiful so when she smiled but didn't directly answer my question I just smiled and said no problem if you don't want to go, up to you.  After a minute or so, another lovely dancer appeared at my other side; one I like a lot but have never barfined but would like to.  She is about four years younger than the other dancer. I started chatting with her.  Believe it or not, within seconds, the first dancer decided, yes, she would like to be barfined for an hour.

Isn't it amazing what a little competition can do to benefit the buyer?  Anyway, when I handed my 1,000-baht bill to the mamasan, I got back only 200 baht.  When I asked what the deal was, she said I was barfining a showgirl and they were now 800 baht.  I pointed out to the mamasan that just about every dancer in there was in one show or another.  Laughter.  OK, I said, but if I can't get it up, or as the Thais say, the dove doesn't bark (nok khao mai khan) do I get my money back?  Laughter.  So we go up to the hotel and have a lot of fun except for the TV on in the background showing some kind of strange Japanese samurai movie with Thai dialogue and the couple of strange insects crawling along the wall in the bathroom.  On the way down, I ask the girl how I did as far as a percentage of one hundred percent?  Laughter.  She seemed to be thinking too long to respond, so I just said, OK, let's just say 50 percent, so tell the mamasan she owes me 400 baht.  Laughter.  Something tells me I won't be getting any money back.

And do you know that not one girl in the last year has from my four choices offered selected any but the one hour deal?  I guess nobody wants to get married.  That's OK, though, because I don't either.

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With all this Sex Addict bullshit going around, I asked some Thai girls what the Thai word is for Sex Addict.  As expected, there isn't one.  There is of course jaochoo "to butterfly," but that in Thailand is expected behavior of men.  I mentioned the term ditlom, "stuck to the wind."  But they pointed out that that applies to anything that captures your interest, not just sex.  So there you have it.  In a Buddhist/animist society, there is no word for Sex Addict, hence, no Sex Addict Clinics raking in the Big Bucks.  Hence, no bullshit.

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I know a very attractive Thai girl married to a Thai guy.  The guy is not the best provider in the world nor does he treat her particularly well.  They live in something slightly better than a shack.  She told me if they have one more fight, she is going to Bangkok to try to find a farang.  Hmmm.  Food for thought.  This is a very nice girl but it seems that when all else fails there is always the farang to fall back on.  I doubt that American women feel as if they have Thai men to fall back on.  Should I be pleased that women like this see me as a good deal?  That they recognize my sterling qualities or ATM privileges?  Or should I be insulted that a married woman simply goes after me when her marriage to a Thai man is on the rocks?  Interesting...

Soft Porn?

The New York Times had an article on the horrible spills and bloody falls of ice-skating and about the YouTube videos showing same and about how the often bloody accidents may be one of the main draws of the sport.  So of course I had to chime in my two satang's worth and they printed it:

"Maybe I am just a sick person but the only time I notice ice skating is when a lovely woman with curvaceous legs in a short skirt is twirling around on the ice. I always regarded ice skating as soft porn. The last thing I want to see is blood. But that's just me."

 

****************  ****************

 

Why a Ghost Shrine Here?

 

 

Wat Mahabut is a small temple off Sukhumvit Road, soi 77 and subsoi 7.  It is famous for its ghost story of Nae Nak which has been made into films, books, etc., and god knows what else.  The story is a bit weird for my taste but anyway I have shown photographs of it in a previous column.  I took the pictures above on a corner of Sathorn and soi Suanplu and as you can see it is all about the ghost of that temple with clothes for her and offerings for her and a "picture" of her much as there is in the temple.  I started to walk over to a Thai guard of a nearby building as ask why all of this temple ghost paraphernali is here for a temple across town?  But then, fortunately, I remembered that questions like that often lead into Thai "logic" and the road to asylums is paved with farangs who dared get involved in Thai logic.  So I took a few pictures and wisely moved on.  Here is a Tourist Board picture of the temple on soi 77 because it is easier to get that than to try to find my own in my sprawling pictures files.        

 

 

****************  ****************

 

Who says there is no good graffiti in Bangkok?  Maybe not on the level of Manhattan's East Village but it's out there.

 

 ****************  ****************

The New Cover

 

 

Kingdom of Make-Believe:  Well, the blue cover was indeed a good one but was a bit busy and this one will really stand out in the bookstores in the States where most of the new covered books are going. Many thanks for all your comments and suggestions.  Meanwhile, cover design for Permanent Damage, the sequel to Skytrain to Murder, is well underway.

 

****************  ****************

 

New Zealand: 'Nuff said?

 

****************  ****************

 

Perfect Description of Walking Street, Pattaya?

 

 

".. tenanted by as hardened and depraved set of witches as could be found on the face of the globe...a rum mill of the worst kind [with] half a dozen Cyprians, virgins whose lamps were always burning brightly in expectancy of the coming of the bridgegroom, and who lured to destruction the soldiers of the garrison. In all my experience I have never seen a lower, more beastly set of people of both sexes."

 

Maybe so, but actually it is a description of Fort Laramie Three-Mile Hog Ranch described by U.S. Army Lieutenant John Gregory Bourke in the 1880's.  The ranch has been placed on the National Register of Historic Places.  And by the way one of the young prostitutes was Martha Jane Cannary, more popularly known in later years as Calamity Jane.

 

 

Calamity Jane was buried at Mount Moriah Cemetery (South Dakota), next to Wild Bill Hickok. Four of the men who planned her funeral (Albert Malter, Frank Ankeney, Jim Carson, and Anson Higby) later stated that since Hickok had “absolutely no use” for Jane while he was alive, they decided to play a posthumous joke on Wild Bill by giving Calamity an eternal resting place by his side. 

 

.****************  ****************

 

This is the Somerset Park Hotel on Soi SuanPlu.  A friend of mine was staying there at a very good price in a very good room.  So this is just a reminder that Bangkok is full of very good hotels at very reasonable prices and anyone coming here doesn't have to spend a fortune as you would in Manhattan, for example.

.....................

 

Jesus endorsement

 

Another friend of mine (Yes, I do have more than one) told me there was something about me on a website called Werewolf's Lair and that although he had never met him he thought he actually had the Werewolf's phone number.  We were sitting outside the Old Dutch on a lovely afternoon in the Big Mango.  So he sent him an SMS to see if he might want to join us later that day at Mojos.  As it turned out, Bangkok is a small town.  Because he sent an SMS back to say he would be with us in one minute, as he was finishing his beer outside Tilac.  And he joined us later at Mojos as well.  Good company.

 

.....................

 

******************* ******************* ******************* ******************* 

 

 

 

No Jail for Woman Who Makes Loud Noise During Sex Act

(Could You Make Love to that Woman?)

 

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/world/2010/01/25/2010-01-25_no_jail_for_british_woman_for_loud_sex_caroline_cartwright_scores_suspended_sent.html

 

 

******************* *******************

 

"I detest the notion of a new dawn in which Homo sapiens would live in harmony.  The hope this Utopia engenders has justified the bloodiest exterminations in history." 

- Francois Bizot, The Gate

 

(Francois Bizot was the only Western prisoner to have been arrested by the Khmer Rouge and survived.  His book, The Gate, is truly a must read.  He also spoke at the FCCT some time back.)

 

******************* *******************

 

FEMINAZI CONFERENCE AGENDA

 

(Yes, You can be sure they see Men as the Bad Guys)

 

http://www.feministagenda.org.au/history/tiwc/list_of_abstracts.htm

 

******************* *******************

 

 

56 MEDICATIONS YOU MIGHT NOT WANT TO TAKE WITH YOUR VIAGRA

 

http://www.worstpills.org/public/page.cfm?op_id=456

 

******************* 

 

Letter to the Bangkok Post (which they did not publish)

Dear Sir, 

There have been several letters recently in this column purporting to give the origin of the expressions "farang" and "farang kee nok" and although all have their merits, none were exactly correct.  Kindly allow me to set the record straight. 

Long before there were any Portuguese or French or Muslims or even 7/11's in what was then the home of the Siamese people one of my intrepid ancestors arrived and was warmly greeted by the people.  It was difficult for him to explain where he had come from and so they eventually settled for "back of the sky", i.e. fa-lang.  As at that time in Siam there were lovely forests and huge birds, it turned out that my ancestor was the one who captured and first rode one of these birds (as seen in the film Avatar).  He rode the birds, that is, "kee nok" hence the impressed Siamese gave him the name "The foreigner who can ride the bird", i.e. "farang kee nok." 

I hope this settles this argument and we can now get back to discussing important issues of the day from how we should be greeted in 7/11's to which station gives us the best soccer coverage. 

Dean Barrett

 

**************** *******************  ****************

 

 

Letters from Readers

 

Dean: Food on Cowboy gets better and better.  My dinner last night at Cactus Club was excellent. There is no menu, there is a different selection each night which is on a chalkboard out front.  They started serving food around 8:15.  I'd arrived a little earlier than that and was the only customer, but the (small) place quickly filled up around meal time and everyone was getting food. 

I had a large pulled pork sandwich, very tasty, together with a nice large side of potato salad and a bowl of onion soup.  All for 200bht.  I've heard that Tuesday is Taco night, I know another night I walked by and the choice was a Reuben sandwich.  I'll definitely be going back and checking the board.  

I believe it is catered...the owner pulled up out front and they started unloading what appeared to be the food, which then started appearing about 15 or 20 minutes later.  

In the meantime, Friday is free dinner at Baccara. RB

 

........................

 

RB, don't forget free lunch every Saturday at 3 at the Texas Lone Star Saloon, Washington Square.  And although cheap enough, it does seem Baccara charges 100 baht for food now.

******************* 

Hello Dean 

Thank-you (and my dog Rufus thanks you) for posting those pictures of Fon posing in her new house in February's column.  Someone held one of the pictures out a window here in Boston so that I could see it and I came in from the ledge. 

Only one thing: what's with the guy in the picture with her?  Come on Dean, grab the reins: haven't you heard of cropping or photoshop? So close and then you fell down before breaking the tape at the finish line. 

Anyway, thank-you for saving my life.  Below are some future Fon picture ideas: 

1.  Fon on top of a step ladder reaching up really really high to get something off a top shelf.

2.  Fon vacuuming in black open toe high heels with those black straps that wrap around the calf.  These black straps that wrap around the legs of Thai females give me stabbing pains in the backs of my eyes but I am willing to accept the torture.

3.  Fon making soup and turning to smile over her shoulder. 

Sincerely yours, AFOF (A Friend Of Fon)

.....................

 

Dear AFOF, Hang on until 1 April column when I think I can promise you all new and exciting pictures of khun Fon!

 

****************  ****************

 

Links You Might Enjoy

A video of a five-minute walk down Soi Cowboy.  Click here and then click "preview videos."

http://www.pbar.info/videos.html

 

Like to check out some bars in Thailand?  Try

http://www.bangkokbarfun.com.

Like to know what music is playing where in Bangkok each week?  Try http://www.bangkokgigguide.com.

Like to know more in depth about what music is playing where in Bangkok each week?  Try this great site:

http://www.bangkokjungle.com.

 

Tired of shoveling snow?  Check out Bangkok's sunshine.

 

Bangkok's weather report.

 

 

 

A great site for listening to Thai Morlan music and other folk music of Southeast Asia.

 

www.monsoon-country.org

 

 

 

A bit of black leather never hurts.  But she does.

 

Our Lady in Black

 

 

 

Like to learn a bit about retiring in Asia?

 

http://www.retiredexpat.com

 

 

 

Maps of all the provinces of Thailand

 

http://www.thailand-guide.org/maps/index.htm

 

 

 

Listen to RadioBangkok.net

 

mms://wma.radiobangkok.net/bangkok32?MSWMExt=.asf

 

 

 

Helping Kids in Thailand

 

Helping Thai Kids

 

 

 

A fine independent Pattaya Bookstore:

 

www.canterburytalescafe.com

 

 

Links You Might Not Enjoy

Politically incorrect rants and raves from Uncle Fred.

http://www.fredoneverything.net

 

Girlfriends looking for Taliban boyfriends.

Taliban Singles Dating Page

 

Very satirical writing and videos.

http://www.thenoseonyourface.com

*********************

Do you have a product or service you would like to advertise on this website? You can, you know. In fact, you don’t have to have a product or service at all; you can just send me money. Or perhaps you would like me to plug a product or service that you are involved in? Sure, just send me cash. Be sure, however, to mark the outside envelope:

“Birthday money for Dean Barrett –

Absolutely No Bribe Enclosed

Got feedback to this column?  Got information on Thailand you would like to share?  Happy as a dung beetle to be living in Paradise?  Been ripped off?  Just write me.

*********************

CONTEST

Enter and win a prize! This contest's first prize is worth 4,000 baht in food and drink vouchers.  The first to give the correct answer wins the vouchers; second wins the sexy shirt; third wins the sexy calendar.

     First prize:        Vouchers for food and drink from bars, pubs and restaurants in Bangkok

     Second prize:       Nifty shirt with the "I Support Single Moms" slogan

     Third prize:        Sexy calendar with Pattaya go go dancers, from After Dark magazine

     Fourth prize:       Nada Diddly-Squat Special 4 U, U number ten!

 

 

Last column's contest answers: 

 

  'A Fan's Notes' is by Frederick Exley
  Names of the horses of:
  Roy Rogers - Trigger
  The Lone Ranger - Silver
  Don Quixote - Rocinante
  Kuan Yu - Red Hare

 

 

 

New Contest

"Never play cards with a man called Doc. Never eat at a place called Mom's. Never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own." Nelson Algren From A Walk on the Wild Side (1956)

OK, Now give me your clever Thai version of Nelson Algren's saying, that is, same type of saying but related to Thailand.  Most clever wins.

*********************

That's all for this fortnightly column.  Drop by again.  Explore the rest of the website.  Meanwhile, as the girls used to tell me during the 1960's: "I no lie you, GI, I love you long time; you number one!" 

And, remember: nothing says goodbye like a bullet.  And the more people I meet the more bullets I need.

 


 

Dean Barrett can be flamed at: deanbarr@loxinfo.co.th

 

 

************************************************************************************

"At least one thing seems certain: against people who are ready to die in the cause of destroying freedom, people who are not willing to speak up for freedom for fear of being called a racist or an Islamophobe don't stand much chance of victory."

********************

 

More News on the "Religion of Peace"

 

The "Religion of Peace" continues to visit Southern Thailand

 

Just some of the recent atrocities committed by Muslims in Thailand

 

 

2010.02.18 (Yala, Thailand) - Industrious Islamists shoot a civilian to death in one district and set off a motorcycle bomb in another.

 

2010.02.17 (Narathiwat, Thailand) - Religion of Peace advocates behead two government soldiers trying to guard teachers.

2010.02.18 Thailand Yala 1 12 Industrious Islamists shoot a civilian to death in one district and set off a motorcycle bomb in another.

2010.02.06 (Narathiwat, Thailand) - A local soldier in a moving truck is killed by a Mujahideen sniper.

 

2010.02.03 Thailand Narathiwat - A rubber tapper working with his wife is shot in the back by Muslim militants with a shotgun

 

2010.01.31 Thailand Pattani - A 6-year-old boy and his parents are brutally shot to death by Religion of Peace advocates.

 

2010.01.30 Thailand Pattani - A man and his wife are murdered by Islamic radicals while on their way to work at a rubber plantation.

 

2010.01.26 Thailand Pattani - Two Buddhist construction workers are among three people gunned down Islamic separatists in two attacks.

 

And Many More Wounded

 

 

(Isn't it interesting how silent the Bangkok Post is about all this.  Yet they have lots of space to run stories and photos on pandas and a boring, predictable column written by a Muslim fanatic every other Sunday.)

 

 

 

 

.........................................

 

Over 4,000 Thais including monks and teachers and children have been murdered by Muslims in Southern Thailand and

over 45 Thais have been beheaded including Buddhist monks.

 

 

 

 

"Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction." (Blaise Pascal, mathematician, 1670)

 

********************

 

How Islam "honors" women

Stop Honorcide!

http://www.stopshariahnow.org/

********************

ANOTHER GREAT PAT CONDELL VIDEO

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=winu_C_X5mw

 

********************

PAKISTAN: CHRISTIAN SENTENCED TO PRISON FOR LIFE FOR DESTROYING "HOLY" KORAN

http://www.pakistanchristianpost.com/viewnews.php?newsid=1560

 

********************

PARIS: FRENCH ACTRESS DOUSED WITH PETROL FOR WRITING A PLAY CRITICIZING ISLAM

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/france/6998666/Petrol-attack-on-actress-in-Muslim-themed-play.html

 

********************

AUSTRIA: MORE THAN HALF OF TURKISH MUSLIMS IN AUSTRIA WANT SHARIA LAW

http://islamineurope.blogspot.com/2010/01/austria-majority-of-turks-want-sharia.html

 

********************

IRAN: BAHAIS IMPRISONED ON FALSE CHARGES AND BAHAI RELIGION BANNED

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/01/17/AR2010011702350.html

 

********************

THAILAND: MUSLIMS KILL 8-YEAR-OLD AND PARENTS

http://www.bangkokpost.com/news/local/32179/boy-anguish-as-family-slain

 

********************

ENGLAND: MUSLIMS USE VIDEOS TO ENCOURAGE CHILDREN TO KILL INFIDELS

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/manchester/8489137.stm

 

*******************

ENGLAND: MUSLIM SPITS ON WAR HERO'S MEDALS

http://express.lineone.net/posts/view/155050/Yob-spat-on-hero-s-medals

 

********************

ENGLAND: GANG OF MUSLIMS USE HAMMERS TO SMASH ENGLISH AT PARTY

http://theopinionator.typepad.com/my_weblog/2010/01/facial-reconstruction-for-brothers-bludgeoned-in-muslim-gang-hammer-attack.html

 

********************

HOLLAND: MOSQUES TEACH HATRED OF INFIDEL: VIDEO

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VfeYhzsPTsg

 

********************

USA: FEDERAL PRISON GUARD AMBUSHED BY MUSLIMS; LOSES EYE, BRAIN DAMAGE

http://www.nypost.com/p/news/opinion/opedcolumnists/this_they_what_gitmo_terrorists_YFcFeMXZOxAm4t9cJzTcMN

 

********************

AFGHANISTAN: TALIBAN MORONS BEAT MEN AND BOY FOR NOT GROWING BEARD, ETC: VIDEO

http://www.realcourage.org/2010/02/pakistan-taliban-whip-child/

 

********************

Dutch Courage??

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=96ZUZ9CPZII

 

THE RELIGION OF PEACE (in the real world)

********************

INDONESIA: DEATH FOR ADULTERY, DEATH FOR BEING GAY, ETC. ETC. ETC: VIDEO

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/8491195.stm

 

********************

TURKISH GIRL, 16, BURIED ALIVE FOR TALKING TO BOYS

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010/feb/04/girl-buried-alive-turkey

 

********************

The Very Same University to which the Thai Government is Sending Thai Muslims to Learn:

Facebook is a ''time bomb'' that can ''lead to the complete collapse of Arab and Islamic society'' and is the cause of one out of five divorces in Muslim couples: for this reason, a sheikh at the Al Azhar University in Cairo has issued a fatwa against the popular social networking site. ''Going on this website have very dangerous effects on public opinion in general, and in particular on Arab and Islamic people, which have strongly distinctive qualities,'' said Sheikh Abdel Hamid al Atrash, the former president of the fatwa commission of the most important Sunni religious institution, cited by international daily al Quds al Arabi. According to Atrash, Facebook ''incites illegal reactions to Sharia,'' or Islamic law. ''If one spouse is at work and the other, without moral restraint, has free time and does not know what to do with it, illegal relationships are formed.'' Supporting the assertions of the Egyptian cleric, in the article a study conducted by the Centre for Social and Criminal Research was cited, which stated that ''one out of five divorces was caused by an extramarital relationship established through the Internet website Facebook''. ''You should absolutely not be accessing this website'' thundered the sheikh, who called Facebook ''a time bomb in the houses of families that will explode, devastating their homes.''

********************

Happening Now in America:

Islamic foot-washing basins in airports; Shariah finance being introduced by American banks; college campuses designating Islamic prayer rooms for Muslims only; Islamic compounds practicing Shariah law springing up across America; public schools using tax dollars to indoctrinate American students into Islam; demands by Muslim parents that their children be provided private prayer rooms in their public schools; Muslim workers demanding special workplace accommodations no other religious person would ask for; and the list goes on.
 

********************

"How dreadful are the curses which Mohammedanism lays on its votaries! Besides the fanatical frenzy, which is as dangerous in a man as hydrophobia in a dog...No stronger retrograde force exists in the world (than Islam)." Winston Churchill

********************

Mohammad Playing with his Six-year-old Bride to Be

The so-called Prophet Muhammad Married a six-year-old named Aisha and had Sex with the girl by the time she was nine (if not before).  Mohammad ordered the death of two poets who mocked him as well as killed many others.  The Koran is full of hate for non-believers which it equates with "evil-doers."  Islam is not a religion: it is a fanatical brotherhood and hate-filled ideology.  The West continues to ignore the fact that Islam is a clear and present danger to anyone who believes in free speech, an independent judiciary, free press, etc., etc.  Self-censorship is now being practiced in Europe and America to appease Muslims.  The more Muslims a country lets in, the more problems it will have.

********************

"All it takes for evil to triumph is for enough good men to do nothing." - Edmund Burke

Ibn Warraq:

The cartoons in the Danish newspaper Jyllands-Posten raise the most important question of our times: freedom of expression. Are we in the west going to cave into pressure from societies with a medieval mindset, or are we going to defend our most precious freedom -- freedom of expression, a freedom for which thousands of people sacrificed their lives? A democracy cannot survive long without freedom of expression, the freedom to argue, to dissent, even to insult and offend...Unless, we show some solidarity, unashamed, noisy, public solidarity with the Danish cartoonists, then the forces that are trying to impose on the Free West a totalitarian ideology will have won; the Islamization of Europe will have begun in earnest.

 

http://www.albawaba.com/en/news/248538


********************

Muslim extremists brandishing banners calling British soldiers 'Butchers'

  • "The sword of Muhammad and the Quran are the most fatal enemies of civilization, liberty, and the truth which the world has yet known." - The eminent orientalist Sir William Muir (1819-1905)

    `********************

    ********************

    Iran 23

    "All religions take care to silence or to execute those who question them...It has, however, been some time since Judaism and Christianity resorted openly to torture and censorship. Not only did Islam begin by condemning all doubters to eternal fire, but it still claims the right to do so in almost all of its dominions, and still preaches that these same dominions can and must be extended by war." - Christopher Hitchens, God is Not Great: How Religion Poisons Everything

     

    `********************

     

     

    'If the Arabs put down their weapons today, there would be no more violence. If the Jews put down their weapons today, there would be no more Israel.' - Benjamin Netanyahu

     

    ********************

     

    The Bodies of Two Dead Gays in Iran

     

    (killed by adherents of "the religion of peace")

     

    ********************

    There is not one Muslim country in the world which gives equal rights to non-Muslims but when Muslims enter other countries they demand more than equal rights!  Write your congressman and tell him to stop kowtowing to Muslims.

     

    “Religion is an insult to human dignity.  With or without it, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things.  But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion.”        --        by Nobel Laureate physicist Steven Weinberg. 

     

     

    "Mohammad poisoned the sources of human felicity at the fountain, by degrading the condition of the female sex...and he declared undistinguishing and exterminating war, as a part of his religion, against all the rest of mankind. The essence of his doctrine was violence and lust: to exalt the brutal over the spiritual part of human nature" - John Quincy Adams

     

    ********************

    Subject: Profiling ?  

    HERE'S THE TEST

    1. 1968 Bobby Kennedy was shot and killed by:
    a. Superman
    b. Jay Leno
    c. Harry Potter
    d. A Muslim male extremist between the ages of 17 and 40

    2. In 1972 at the Munich Olympics, athletes were kidnapped and
    massacred by:
    a. Olga Corbett
    b. Sitting Bull
    c. Arnold Schwarzenegger
    d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

    3.. In 1979, the US embassy in Iran was taken over by:
    a. Lost Norwegians
    b. Elvis
    c. A tour bus full of 80-year-old women
    d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

    4. During the 1980's a number of Americans were kidnapped in
    Lebanon by:
    a. John Dillinger
    b. The King of Sweden
    c. The Boy Scouts
    d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

    5. In 1983, the US Marine barracks in Beirut was blown up by:
    a. A pizza delivery boy
    b. Pee Wee Herman
    c. Geraldo Rivera
    d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

    6. In 1985 the cruise ship Achille Lauro was hijacked and a 70 year
    old American passenger was murdered and thrown overboard in
    his wheelchair by:
    a. The Smurfs
    b. Davey Jones
    c. The Little Mermaid
    d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

    7. In 1985 TWA flight 847 was hijacked at Athens , and a US Navy
    diver trying to rescue passengers was murdered by:
    a. Captain Kidd
    b. Charles Lindberg
    c. Mother Teresa
    d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

    8. In 1988, Pan Am Flight 103 was bombed by:
    a. Scooby Doo
    b. The Tooth Fairy
    c. The Sundance Kid
    d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

    9. In 1993 the World Trade Center was bombed the first time by:
    a. Richard Simmons
    b. Grandma Moses
    c. Michael Jordan
    d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

    10. In 1998, the US embassies in Kenya and Tanzania were bombed
    by:
    a. Mr. Rogers
    b. Hillary Clinton, to distract attention from Wild Bill's women
    problems
    c. The World Wrestling Federation
    d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

    11. On 9/11/01, four airliners were hijacked; two were used as
    missiles to take out the World Trade Centers and of the
    remaining two, one crashed into the US Pentagon and the other
    was diverted and crashed by the passengers. Thousands of
    people were killed by:
    a. Bugs Bunny, Wiley E. Coyote, Daffy Duck and Elmer Fudd
    b. The Supreme Court of Florida
    c. Mr. Bean
    d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

    12. In 2002 the United States fought a war in Afghanistan against:
    a. Enron
    b. The Lutheran Church
    c. The NFL
    d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

    13. In 2002 reporter Daniel Pearl was kidnapped and murdered by:
    a. Bonnie and Clyde
    b. Captain Kangaroo
    c. Billy Graham
    d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40


    14. And now we can add: In 2009, 31 people wounded and 13 American
    Soldiers murdered on base at Fort Hood
    by a Major that was known as a:
    You guessed it - A Muslim male extremist between the age of 17 and 40

    No, I really don't see a pattern here to justify profiling, do you? So, to ensure we Americans never offend anyone, particularly fanatics intent on killing us, airport security screeners will no longer be allowed to profile certain people. They must conduct random searches of 80-year-old women, little kids, airline pilots with proper identification, secret agents who are members of the President's security detail, 85-year old Congressmen with metal hips, and Medal of Honor winner and former Governor Joe Foss, but leave Muslim Males between the ages 17 and 40 alone lest they be guilty of profiling.

     

    ********************

    FROM THE KORAN:
    —The unbelievers are your inveterate enemy. (4:101)
    —Mohammed is God’s apostle. Those who follow him are ruthless to the unbelievers but merciful to one another. (48:29).
    —It is unlawful for a believer to kill another believer, accidents excepted. (4:92)
    —Believers, take neither the Jews nor the Christians for your friends. (5:51)
    —Make war on them until idolatry shall cease and God’s religion shall reign supreme. (8:40)
    —Fight against them until idolatry is no more and God’s religion reigns supreme. (2:193)
    —The true believers fight for the cause of God, but the infidels fight for the devil.  (4:76)
    —We will put terror into the hearts of the unbelievers. (3:151)
    —I shall cast terror into the hearts of the infidels. Strike off their heads, strike off the very tips of their fingers. (8:12)


    FROM THE SAYINGS OF MUHAMMAD:
    —Muhammad said to the Jews: “If you embrace Islam, you will be safe. You should know that the earth belongs to Allah and His Apostle, and I want to expel you from this land. “
    — Allah’s Apostle said, “You (i.e. Muslims) will fight with the Jews till some of them will hide behind stones. The stones will (betray them) saying, ‘O ‘Abdullah (i.e. slave of Allah)! There is a Jew hiding behind me; so kill him.‘ “
    —Mohammed said, “I have been ordered to fight with the people till they say, “None has the right to be worshipped but Allah, and whoever says, “ None has the right to be worshipped but Allah , his life and property will be saved by me.“ (otherwise it will not). Vol. 4:196
    —Mohammed said, “Whoever changes his Islamic religion, kill him.“ Vol. 9:57
    —Mohammed said, “ No Muslim should be killed for killing a Kafir” (infidel). Vol. 9:50
    —Muhammad said: “Fight in the name of Allah and in the way of Allah. Fight against those who disbelieve in Allah. Make a holy war, … “. (Sahih Muslim 4294)

     

     

     

    Some books that tell it like it is!

     

    Now on trial in Holland for "insulting Islam"

     

     

    The Islamization of Europe

    Muslims are rapidly destroying freedom in Europe and have even brought about self-censorship and real censorship in the United States.  But there is one city in Holland where a new reality can be seen with the naked eye, more than anywhere else. Here, entire neighborhoods look as if they have been lifted from the Middle East, here stand the largest mosques in Europe, here parts of sharia law are applied in the courts and theaters, here many of the women go around veiled, here the mayor is a Muslim, the son of an imam.  This city is Rotterdam, Holland's second largest city by population, and the largest port in Europe by cargo volume.  Europeans, especially politicians, will not lift a finger to fight against Islamofascism.  And future generations will pay the price. 

    The hate-filled Quran (Koran) consistently uses offending remarks whenever it mentions non-Muslims. It describes non-Muslims as animals (Q.7: 179, Q.25: 44, Q.47: 12). Then it describes the Jews as donkeys Q. 62:5 then as apes and pigs (Q.2: 65, Q. 5:60, Q. 7:166). To be described as an animal is a bad insult in Arabic culture, but pigs, apes and donkeys are particularly bad.  "Religion of Peace," my ass. 

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    More people are killed by Islamists each year than in all 350 years of the Spanish Inquisition combined. (source)
     

    EXCUSES OVER THE YEARS THAT POLITICALLY CORRECT PEOPLE HAVE MADE FOR MUSLIMS KILLING NON-MUSLIMS IN AMERICA & ELSEWHERE

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    Please note, I do not and never would advocate violence against individual Muslims in any community.  For one thing, the guy you beat up with a baseball bat may turn out to have just escaped from some horrible Islamic regime.  Individual violence against Muslims or doing damage to mosques, etc., is just stupid and is also counterproductive as Muslim fanatics will show pictures of that all over the Muslim world to incite people against the West. 

    A good case can be made that Islam is a fanatical brotherhood masquerading as a religion, and, indeed, the adherents of Islam often act that way.   But, as individuals, a Muslim neighbor might possibly be more honest than a Christian neighbor.  It is only that the Muslim will have been brought up in a religion/brotherhood with a medieval mindset that is centuries behind the times and has a penchant for violence, especially against those who criticize the Koran and other aspects of Islam.   Winning the war against Muslim fanatics will take a long time and be hard-fought but it can and will be won.  But we must demand that more and more moderate Muslims join the fight against fanatical Muslims.   We must demand that our leaders absolutely reject any "compromise" on our right to free expression.  Compromising with the fanatics pulls the rug out from the Muslim moderates desperately trying to reform and secularize Islam.  And we must never bow to Muslim demands to curb our hard-won freedom of expression.   And freedom of expression always includes satire and even insulting satire including satire of glorified tribal myths called religion. 

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    "Barrett has a gift for taking us into cultures worlds apart from our own, displaying a reverence for their exotic and grotesque as well as their beauty and history....”

    - The Poisoned Pen Book Review

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    “The religion of the future will be a cosmic religion.  It should transcend a personal god and avoid dogmas and theology.  Covering both the natural and the spiritual, it should be based on a religious sense arising from the experience of all things, natural and spiritual and a meaningful unity.  Buddhism answers this description.  If there is any religion that would cope with modern scientific needs, it would be Buddhism.” - Albert Einstein