Welcome to my website.  Unlike the universe, this website has a purpose: to offer rants, tirades, opinions and discussion about books on Thailand, give an overview of nightlife in Thailand and, yes, to provide a few news items which might not appear elsewhere.  And to have some fun.

Bar, club and restaurant owners who would like to send material on their special events, birthday bashes, anniversary parties, etc., are welcome to do so but please remember men in Thailand are a bit jaded so if you’re just going to offer the usual free gourmet food and free full band entertainment and free beautiful and eager-to-please women, well, the lads have been there, done that. So do try to offer potential patrons something special. ;-)

There is a contest every two weeks when this column appears and the first to answer the question correctly or identify a photograph correctly will receive vouchers worth at least 3,500 baht in food and drink, i.e., 500 baht each, from Larry's Dive, Shadow Bar, The Old Dutch, the Big Mango, Electric Blue, The Duke of Wellington pub, and Bourbon Street Restaurant. The prizes will build up in case anyone doesn't win it immediately so the bonanza for the eventual winner could get quite interesting.  It will double to 7,000 and, if still no winner, to 10,500, etc.  Second prize is a "I Support Single Moms" T-shirt.  And please remember a part of all money received from the sale of my books goes to needy Thais (in the form of payment to go go dancers, waitresses and hostesses).

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Doncha jes luv this cool January weather?  Beautiful!

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The young lady above is named Oi ("Sugarcane") and she works at Bus Stop on Sukhumvit soi 4 which, by the way, has great Singapore noodles because they are done more like pad see eu than Singapore noodles but I digress.  Oi is cute as a button and has lovely, long hair to die for.  She is from Essarn and were I 30 years younger she would have been mine.  Alas, I guess we shall remain star-crossed lovers.  But when I think of that lovely black hair fanned out across my white pillow, aiiyaaahhhh!

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Western Men are Nuts

We all make the mistake of blaming the Japanese for bidding up the prices on BGs. I did a s/t with my friend, a coyote dancer, last night, and she told me what she’s been up to, moneywise. Please note that none of these guys are Japanese…  

1)      Her European fiancée has been sending her $1,500 USD a month for the past two years. Profit: $72,000 USD.

2)      She recently entered the wet t-shirt contest at a local disco, and won the 20,000 baht prize. An American guy in the audience gave her a 4,500 baht tip, and later wanted to fuck her. She charged him 25,000 baht for a short time. When she got to his room, he took a whip out of his luggage, so she whipped him, which is what he wanted in the first place. One night profit: $1,450 USD.

3)      For 3 out of the last 4 years, a 55 y/o Scandinavian man has been sending her 20,000 baht ($600) a month, even though he’s never fucked her. He recently stopped because of the economy. Profit: $16,600 USD.

4)      A 45 y/o Nordic man paid her 150,000 baht for three days, during which she wore surgical gloves and fisted him. Profit for 3 days: $4,412 USD.

5)      A 60 y/o Australian man, pays her from $500 to $1000 each time he sees her. In 3 days, he’s paid her $2,300 USD.

6)      A 45 y/o American man met her at Nana Disco. He told her he was happy that she “wasn’t a prostitute.” He gave her 10,000 baht for a ten minute conversation on each of two successive nights. When he returned home, he offered her 20,000 baht for a normal picture. One week later, he offered her 50,000 baht for a “sexy picture” with a G-string. She emailed him 2 pix. She’s never had sex with him, and has made $2,650 profit.

7)      “Ireland Man” is 22 y/o, and gave her 5,000 baht a day for a week, plus bought her jewelry. Profit for 1 week: $1,471 USD.  While this may not seem excessive, remember it’s from a 22 year old man. 

From transactions like this, she bought a home upcountry for 3 million baht (will be fully paid off in 6 months), 2 Chevy pickups (the other is for her sister), and paid off a 1,270,000 baht loan her mother had taken out. 

So I asked her why, with all these guys giving her tons of money, she goes with me for 1,000 baht (sometimes short time, sometimes long time.) She reminded me of how we met. It was in the Nana parking lot, her GF was with another guy, and she needed an aircon room to hang out in until her GF was finished. I offered her 1000 baht s/t, and we’ve been seeing each other ever since. 

So it’s not just the Japanese guys. What’s truly amazing is the huge amount of money many guys pay, and they don’t even have sex with the girl!  Jeff

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Jeff, Many thanks for your investigation and insight.  The dumbest guy of all is the guy who paid US$1,450 to get whipped.  He could have gone to any house of domination in Bangkok or to the S&M clubs and for the same money been whipped by several girls for several nights.  Some guys are indeed idiots! 

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The Chao Mae Tuptim Shrine behind the Lai Nert Park Hotel on Wireless Road.  Quite an amazing place!

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Khun Gam had her birthday at Mojos recently and the lovely dancers had a great time.  One might even say a somewhat rowdy time.  And, if you still haven't seen it, I've added a second video of the Mojos dancers which you can see by clicking here:  Amazingly Sexy Thai Coyote Dancers

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To be sure, the Cactus Bar is an acquired taste but a friend of mine likes the DC10 at Nana so I told him if you like DC10 you will love Cactus.  Sure enough, he does. 

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But What Kind of Beer is Best in that Situation?

HONG KONG — The Chinese government confirmed Thursday that it would send naval ships to the Gulf of Aden to help in the fight against piracy there. The mission would be first modern deployment of Chinese warships outside the Pacific. The announcement came as the captain of a Chinese cargo ship that was attacked Wednesday in the gulf said his crew had used beer bottles, fire hoses and homemade incendiary bombs to battle a gang of pirates that had boarded his vessel.

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Yes, elephants can be found at Washington Square as well.

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Can you believe this guy at Mojos?  He brings a beautiful woman with him but only has eyes for what's on stage.  Some guys have all the luck but are spoiled rotten!

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Do They or Don't They?

As we sit at Big Dogs at Nana Plaza and watch the lively flow of humanity come and go like a tide bringing in and sending out more than a bit of flotsam and jetsam, we notice many of the farang customers have taken katoeys (AKA ladyboys) for their bed partner.  And, of course, the question to be asked is do the guys know they are with a ladyboy or not?  I have a friend who spent some time among Thai ladyboys and, according to him, they say about 50 per cent of the customers know and 50 per cent don't.  Of course, once in the room with those who don't know the ladyboy claims to be on "her" period and hence does not completely disrobe.  The amazing thing is that the ladyboys told my friend that some of them are getting money sent from abroad, apparently from guys who do not realize they are sending money to ladyboys.  And the world turns...

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Took a lovely Mojo dancer on a boat ride on the Menam Chao Phraya.  Lovely nighttime cruise, good food, good company.  Boat must have hit a bump in the road or tsunami wave or something in the second shot.

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DISCRIMINATION IN AMERICA!  WILL IT NEVER END?

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Here we have a shot of Morning-Night bar where a friend of mine says a cockroach fell into his friend's pocket and a rat ran across his lap.  Nevertheless, he still loves the place.  The sign at right has been at the bar opposite Old Dutch a long time and says such things as no one but police and military should enter the bar with a gun; others should have proper licenses, etc., etc.

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Click on this picture to see how to serve chicken wings to a man.

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Sex Trafficking in Cambodia

Nicholas Kristof of the NYTimes did an article about sex trafficking in Cambodia and it has elicited hundreds of responses on his blog.  Here are two:

“In short, some, but not all, prostitution is “bad”–sex is power for many women, and that makes people of all genders uncomfortable. And there should be a clear emphasis on the fact that prostitution is NOT the same thing as sex trafficking.”

Exactly right and well said. As far as I am concerned you can hang pedophiles but I live in Thailand and watch incredibly superficial reports on American and British TV conflating and confusing men paying free and adult women for sex with sex trafficking and pedophilia. It seems to bother Westerners when money changes hands for sex but it does no child or genuine sex slave any good to confuse this with prostitution which exists in every country. Whenever a white guy in Asia is caught as a pedophile, that is big news. But why does no one speak of the tens of thousands of Asian girls who need to be moved away from their own “Uncle” and “daddy”?

I like Kristof’s reporting but I wish Western journalists would understand that in places like Thailand people very much dislike disagreement and disharmony and will tell a reporter pretty much what he wants to hear. And I salute these Cambodian women for their incredible bravery; I do not doubt their personal stories and their knowledge of the corruption that keeps brothels with trafficked women going.

— Dean Barrett

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Another reader's letter

The Washington Post did an expose last year (relating to the USA) and found a huge fraud being perpetrated on the public not only by these NGOs but also by the federal government. Entitled “Human Trafficking Evokes Outrage, Little Evidence
U.S. Estimates Thousands of Victims, But Efforts to Find Them Fall Short” this was published on September 23, 2007 and it details the Keystone Kops measures taken by the feds and these NGOs to find the victims. http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/09/22/AR2007092201401_pf.html

Many of these NGOs use a logically-challenged explanation for the reason they cannot find the victims - they are well-hidden - without considering the other possibility: there are none.

And then women’s groups got wind of the federal largesse available for anyone looking for traffickers and suddenly the definition of trafficking expanded beyond logic when certain groups claimed that men who marry foreign women that they meet on the internet are traffickers. These groups even claim that American men are selling their wives to local brothels. (Calling Mr. Kristoff: Please cruise the red-light districts of Roanoke, VA or Boise, ID and help find the married women forced to work in brothels there by their electrician or computer programmer husbands.) And why would an American man seek romance abroad? One of the female posters here helped explain it when she wrote: “Western men need to get over themselves. They are NOT attractive.”

— Sense of Sanity

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As it is a pretty safe bet that most readers of this column have yet to buy my book The Go Go Dancer who Stole My Viagra & other Poetical Tragedies of Thailand I have decided to post one of the poems from the book from time to time.  Some of the poems are serious and some are for fun. 

The Farmer’s Dark-eyed Daughter  

The wind sweeps through the ricefields, a sea of emerald green,

Lek, the farmer’s dark-eyed daughter, has barely turned eighteen,

She can plant her rai of rice a day, as well as any man,

And she gives to the neighbor’s son her heart - 

To him she gives her heart -

As much as a woman can.

“Girl is rice, boy is paddy,” a song all lovers know,

They ride across the muddy fields on aging buffalo,

The flute he carves he plays for her, and beneath the setting sun,

They pledge forever their hearts are one -  

their beating hearts are one -

Until their lives are done.

The snowy clouds drift dreamily, across a deep blue sky, 

The lovers meet by lantern light, and vow that they would die,

Rather be reborn again, and start their lives anew,

Than lose the love of the other 

For they can never love another

Beneath the canopy of heaven - this sky of indigo blue.

The rainstorms flood the ricefields, and after comes the drought,

The farmers’ prayers unheeded, no matter how devout,

Their hopes and dreams are ended when their buffalo are sold,

Lek shares with her neighbors all her rice –

And as her final sacrifice –

She sells her ring of gold.

Their tear-filled eyes are swollen, the pain of parting deep,

The drought has drained their savings, their plans will have to keep,

They will leave for distant regions, and work at what they must,

But secure in words unspoken, secure in oaths unbroken -

Oaths never to be broken –

And in each other’s trust.

The factories are filthy, and offer little pay,

But as the boss approaches, Lek knows what he will say,

She will bear this shame forever, but she knows what she must do,

And after she washes her body clean -

She buys a gown of emerald green –

A gown of silken, emerald green –

And a purse of indigo blue. 

Her beauty makes her famous, the toast of every bar,

Lek, the farmer’s dark-eyed daughter, is Bangkok’s newest star,

She can have her choice of rich or poor, can capture any man,

But she keeps for the neighbor’s son her heart –

For him she keeps her heart –

As much as a bargirl can.

Each day seemed like a lifetime, but now she has returned,

Their wedding will be paid for, with everything she earned,

They can never love another, that much was understood,

For she gave to the neighbor’s son her heart - 

To him she gave her heart -

As much as a woman could.

The moon is full and shining, Lek hurries to her fate,

This night will last forever, and she must not be late, 

The gown she wears is stunning, a silken emerald green

She leaves to join the banquet –

At last the wedding banquet -

As regal as a queen.

The banquet room though crowded, there is no sound at all,

Lek, the farmer’s dark-eyed daughter, strides out across the hall,

She stops before the neighbor’s son, and the woman at his side,

The man for whom she kept her heart -

Only for him she kept her heart -

Has chosen another bride.

She sees his tears spill over, as she looks into his eyes,

And she feels within her heart, a love that never dies,

She will love this man forever, but she knows what she must do,

She can only stare at the neighbor’s son -

while from her purse she draws a gun -

Her purse of indigo blue.

The shot sounds through the village, her dress is splashed with red,

Lek, the farmer’s dark-eyed daughter, has shot her lover dead,

She presses the gun against her breast, and just as it began,

she gives to the neighbor’s son her heart - 

To him she gives her heart -

As much as a woman can.

The wind swept through the ricefields, a sea of emerald green,

Lek, the farmer’s dark-eyed daughter, had barely turned eighteen,

She could plant her rai of rice a day, as well as any man,

And she gave to the neighbor’s son her heart - 

To him she gave her heart -

As much as a woman can.

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I got a phone call at night, a number I didn't recognize, so I decided not to answer.  The next day curiosity got the best of me so I called and it was the Diva Club on Sukhumvit soi 6 inviting me to their disco night.  I'm a bit long in the tooth for disco but figured they will probably have the dance shows as before so I went.  Sure enough, I was most likely the oldest at the Diva party and since the shows were taking so long to get going I thought well fuck these young people. Besides that, a Mojo dancer was there so my being there will get back to the one I sometimes muck about with at Mojos (probably not a good thing). 

Anyway, I had been meaning to go to the St. Moritz because I like cool classy hotels and hotels with this name always have cool, classy bars with cool, classy women.  I couldn't find the fucking entrance so QBar people showed me where it was and when I went into some kind of lobby I saw about 25 girls on the other side of the glass dancing on a stage plus a big screen showing them.  Holy shit!  Some Thai guy asked if he could help me and I said I'd to go in there.  He said that was a members club.  I said I want to be a member.  He said, fine, that will be 30,000 baht.  I said, look, I'll just go to your hotel bar, OK?  He said, This isn't a hotel.  Well, fuck these people!  The night progressed (downward) from there.  Although Spice Club was fun and despite the 500 baht entrance fee, QBar was interesting and as they give two drinks free included in the entrance fee, that is not such a bad deal.

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One of the wonderful things about living in Paradise is the incredible number of absolutely perfect looking, sexy, sultry young women.  There is a seemingly endless supply of gorgeous women between the ages of 18 and 30.  What is most remarkable is the percentage of these women who range from quite cute to so beautiful they would stop traffic in any other country.  I have traveled to nearly 40 countries, and generally speaking anywhere outside of Thailand if 1 woman in 10 is a looker you are doing pretty darn well.  Amazingly, in Thailand you will often see a group of 5 to 7 young gals walk by, all of whom are complete knockouts.  There are many times that I have walked through a crowded Bangkok shopping mall on a weekend day and spotted literally hundreds of spectacular looking gals without seeing more than a half dozen ugly ones. 

Contrast this with the situation in my home country of America where one could easily spend weeks and sometimes months of time between spotting even a single decent looking woman.  I have a friend who is lovingly referred to as The Rabbit because of his enormous sexual appetite.  He has often been forced to listen to one of my countless stories about the girl hunting desert I call my original home.  I have always suspected that The Rabbit thinks I exaggerate when telling these stories, but he is too much of a gentleman to voice that opinion.  Perhaps he just enjoys hearing me repeat myself like a drunken old fool. 

Anyway, last year he happened to be in my native city of Washington, D.C., and he went to a local shopping mall during the bustling Christmas Shopping season.  The Rabbit ordered a coffee and seated himself in a convenient location to observe the throngs of customers coming and going.  Upon his return he had this to say:  “I would estimate that I saw 3,000 to 4,000 women of all ages walk by in the hour or two that I sat at that café.  I can honestly say that I didn’t spot a single one that I would rate as attractive in any way.  I am not talking about beauty here.  I didn’t see a single gal I would sleep with for free if I was sitting home and bored.”  The question is, are Thai women that beautiful or American women that ugly? 

Speaking of beautiful young Thai girls, I spotted one in a local shopping mall this week and came up with an inventive way of meeting her.  I am still pondering whether this is a new low point for me or a new high?  I will let my wise and cherished readers arrive at their own opinions. 

This girl was tall and very slim with huge natural breasts.  Her eyes were shaped like almonds and her hair was jet black and nearly waist length.  She was so intoxicating that I decided I just couldn’t walk away without attempting to meet her.  Unfortunately for me, she was in the food court sitting with 3 other female friends and was not situated in a way that would create an opportunity for me to make a casual advance.  I paced back and forth for a minute or two and then decided on my course of action.  To hell with it, I said to myself, I am just going to walk by her table and knock her plate of food right to the f**king floor!  So I grabbed my mobile phone, held it up to my right ear and proceeded to walk directly toward her table. Lowering my left arm to my waist, I then swung my left elbow in a circular motion and knocked her plate of food flying in all directions. 

My plan had been for the food to only spill on the floor and not on any people, especially not on her.  In all the frenzy that followed I am not sure if there was any collateral damage or not, but this irrational and idiotic (or courageous and creative?) display did manage to send me down to my hands and knees and place me face to face with my exotic Thai beauty. I apologized profusely in my very best Thai while we both scooped up bits of food with the napkins from her table. 

She was a polite and traditional Thai gal so naturally she tried her very best to soothe my pain and ease my embarrassment.   She told me not to worry, that no real damage was done and that I really didn’t need to apologize.  I reached into my pocket, pulled out one of my business cards and placed it in her hand.  I stared directly into her intoxicating almond shaped eyes and said “here is my phone number. Please call me if any food has spilled onto your clothing.  I would insist on paying the cleaning bill.”  Then I lowered my voice a bit and said “or you can just call me if you want to see a movie or have dinner with me sometime.” 

She called me less than an hour later and explained that her clothes had sustained no damage, and that she was really happy to have met me.  I was still in the mall so we decided to meet for a cup of coffee.  She arrived 5 minutes later, but had only 1 of her 3 friends with her.  We had an extremely pleasant conversation and I have to say that both she and her friend were lovely people.  She was so charming and warm I decided to tell her the truth.  Upon hearing my story about how I staged our meeting, she asked me why I would go to all of that trouble and embarrassment.  I told her that she was so beautiful I just couldn’t have lived with myself if I walked away without trying to meet her.  She shrieked with delight, jumped up from her seat and said “that is the most romantic thing anyone has ever said to me.”

Man oh man do I love Thailand.

     (Dean's note: For shame!  Shame on you, Khun Nana!  Um, can I have her phone number?)

Electric blue Patpong, starting Jan 1st, has been doing a second happy hour from 1 am to close (3 a.m.)  (buy one get one FREE) and the bar fine has been reduced to a mere 400 baht.  Electric Blue is on Patpong II near Foodland and opens at 7:30 every evening.  It's nice to know at least some bar owners try to make up for income shortfalls by giving deals to the customers as opposed to raising beer prices.  There is always salty popcorn given out for free which makes us drink more, and good beer which makes us barfine more.  Andy is no fool.  I hope to do a video of the girls there soon and will have it up on YouTube.  If you want to see some of the videos I have up there now on YouTube, just go to YouTube and type in "BangkokPoet" as one word.  The two videos the director Paul Spurrier did of me are also on YouTube.  Just type in "Dean Barrett".  Or, better yet, just go to the video page on this site.

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Making Good Use of a College Degree

As you know by now, the Rawhide Bar on Soi Cowboy had a fire.  Fortunately, it was closed and no one was there.  But I understand the lovely owner, Khun Min, will use this as an opportunity to remodel quite a bit, so it is still closed for now.  But before it closed I was in there and was buying a drink for a girl sitting with me.  Another came by and asked if she could have a drink and as I know her and as I'd had enough drinks to be feeling good, I said sure.  She bought herself a Tequila, came over to clink my glass, gave me about 15 seconds of her time, and disappeared into the darkness.  Not very friendly, I thought.  So I decided should the opportunity occur, she should be taught some manners.  Sure enough, later that evening, the girl sitting with me noticed that the girl who'd had the Tequila was carrying around a stuffed animal.  And she seemed envious of her.  So I asked her if she would like a stuffed animal as well.  And her lovely face lit up as if I'd just told her she's won the lotto and she said Yes.  OK, I said, I'll be right back.  So I went out on the lane and found the guy selling stuffed animals and purchased one (they are quite cheap).  I made sure to purchase one BIGGER than the one the other girl had.  So I returned to the bar and presented it to the girl and she was delighted with the gift.  The other girl saw it and realized her one stuffed animal was smaller and she had been outclassed.  You see?  Psychology.  Not for nothing do I have an M.A. in Asian Studies from the University of Hawaii.

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Khun Jar of the Penalty Spot is a cutie.  The singer is quite wild and the band good.

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The Dynamic Duo: Petar and PJ; go go dancer takes time out to call.  Possibly to tell several men in several countries sending her money that each is the only one she truly loves; Soi Cowboy at New Year's.

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Khun Cheers outside Mojos wearing a kind of Hindu dot on her forehead (and not much else).

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Every Man's Nightmare

An Australian woman has appeared in court in Adelaide charged with murdering her husband by setting fire to his penis.

Rajini Narayan, 44, is alleged to have doused her husband, Satish, with a flammable liquid while he was sleeping.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/7812875.stm

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Letters from Readers