Welcome to my
website. Unlike the universe, this website has a purpose: to offer
rants, tirades, opinions and discussion about books on Thailand, give an
overview of nightlife in Thailand and, yes, to provide a few news items which
might not appear elsewhere. And to have some fun.
Bar, club and restaurant owners who would like to send material on their
special events, birthday bashes, anniversary parties, etc., are welcome to do so
but please remember men in Thailand are a bit jaded so if you’re just going to
offer the usual free gourmet food and free full band entertainment and free
beautiful and eager-to-please women, well, the lads have been there, done that.
So do try to offer potential patrons something special. ;-)
There is a contest every two weeks when this column appears and the
first to answer the question correctly or identify a photograph correctly
will receive vouchers worth at least 3,500 baht in
food and drink, i.e., 500 baht each, from Larry's Dive, Shadow Bar, The Old
Dutch, the Big Mango, Electric Blue, The Duke of Wellington pub, and Bourbon Street Restaurant. The prizes will
build up in case anyone doesn't win it immediately so the bonanza for the
eventual winner could get quite interesting. It will double to
7,000 and, if still no winner, to
10,500, etc. Second prize is a "I Support
Single Moms" T-shirt. And please remember a part of all money received from the sale of
my books goes to needy Thais (in the form of payment to go go dancers,
waitresses and hostesses).
This picture pretty much sums up Bangkok's problems at the moment. As
usual, various countries have issued travel advisories and warned people from
traveling to Thailand. The truth is a person in Bangkok would have to go
out of his way and search out the area where the demonstrations are; the rest of
the city, i.e., about 99 per cent, is completely normal. I do hope for
better days for Thailand and certainly less bloodshed, but, truth to tell, the situation of
tourists being afraid to come here is a double-edged sword for me: It means
fewer good-looking young guys to compete with in bars and fewer Japanese guys
spending too freely on the girls, thereby raising prices for locals; but on the
other hand fewer tourists mean fewer book-buyers (assuming anyone still reads
books these days).
The Londoner had its Oktoberfest and it proved to be a lot of fun. The
entire staff entertained guests with their German version of a dance led by
Peter the Brewmeister.
Yes, it is true, the Federbrau girl at the Londoner is a doll. Very
lovely and very sweet. And I took a few shots and made a video of a
woman coming on to her as well! Amazing Thailand! Two of the
shots are above in the center. Fortunately the Federbrau girl (as well as
the cute Chang Light girl) likes men.
Very strange. I was in a bar and reached into my shirt pocket and came
out with a packet of Equal, a bandaid, and half a Kamagra. Having been
wiped out the night before I tried to figure out what I was thinking when I put
the shirt on. The Kamagra would of course have been for any encounter of a
carnal nature. The bandaid? Well, maybe I figured if I fell down it
might come in handy. And the Equal? In case I felt like having a cup
of coffee late at night without adding to my calories. I guess. Very
I hadn't been to Bangkok's Chinatown at night for over ten maybe fifteen
years. So when Mojos was closed because of a no-liquor-allowed election
day and two of the Coyote girls expressed a desire for Chinese food, off the
four of us went (one more guy). Believe it or not at 11 o'clock in the
evening, Yaowalat Road was still crowded with people. Eating of course.
My only prayer was that the goldshops would be closed. I hate to be in
close proximity when a Thai or Chinese woman is near a goldshop. Makes me
nervous as hell. There is a real magnetism between Thai women and gold
shops. Thank the gods they were closed. The nuts of the chestnuts
(two right hand pictures) are edible and sweet and soft, kind of like certain
women. They are roasted right there on the street; get 'em hot. We
went to a sharksfin restaurant, one of many, and the food was delicious.
We ordered a lot and the bill was not small. But the crab soup, sharksfin
soup, Peking duck, and all the rest were perfectly done.
A few more pictures of Mojo's Coyote dancers. Remember they have ten
dancers every night and they start about 10:30 and then have breaks and then
dance more. But on Mondays there are only four dancers so not the best day
to head for Mojos. Also, there is rumored to be some kind of new policy to hire new
girls and some of the regulars have to take a month off. Not sure what
that is all about but still a nice place to watch some excellent and exuberant
What it Will be Like When You Get Older
Worried about getting old? You should be. Here is what it is like
for me these days: I wake up in the morning and think to myself that if I
can just make it into the shower then maybe I can actually start the day, after
all. And once I get into the shower I think Hey, if I can just make it
into the kitchen as far as the coffee pot and get that started then maybe
I can actually get going. And then I think if I can scrounge around in a
drawer and find that I still have a pep pill left then maybe I can actually get
some writing done. And then I admonish myself: You will not again do what
you did last night - you will not get drunk, muck about with women, and stay out
till all hours of the morning. But then it hits me: I didn't go out the
night before! Nor did I drink or muck about with women or go to bed late.
It just feels like I did. So now you know. Still: Getting old
is definitely better than the alternative. As Granny used to say, Every
day above ground is a good day. This just in: Khun Chamlong, one of the
leaders of the Thai opposition said the other younger leader had handcuffs while
in jail but he didn't have to wear them because the police said he was "old."
So I guess there is some benefit for being old, after all!
Cross Cultural Confusion
I was told this hilarious story by the coyote dancer involved. She said
some guy came into the bar and (the music was loud) said something about liking
menu. Well, as you know, Thais don't say "menu" as we do: they say "may-noo."
So the girl looked at him and said "No!" The guy had complete surprise
written all over his face. Then she added, "I no like!" Then the guy
was completely flummoxed. And she was flummoxed that he was
flummoxed. Then she added, "I like Arsenal." So there it was: She
thought he had asked her if she likes the soccer team Man-U. Cross
cultural confusion in spades.
I'm still in touch with several guys who used to serve with me in Thailand in
the 60's, although I've only seen two since that time as most live in the States
and never come back to Thailand. A great group of guys but a recent
incident demonstrates what happens to your perception when you go back and spend
decades living in the States. In an exchange of e-mails I attached the
above picture. One of the guys said "send more!" But another said,
"She looks 12 years old. You can get in trouble for that."
Not his fault, but it is sad, isn't it? You see, in Thailand, there is no law against
photographing a 24-year-old, college senior, coyote dancer, but it doesn't
surprise me that in politically correct America there might be such a law.
I think the problem is that men in America are so used to the incredibly
increasing size of American women that they now assume that such heft and girth
and flab is the "norm." So when they see a good-looking young Asian woman,
well, she must be too young by, um, "normal" standards. And that of course
is why so many folks in America see us all as pedophiles out here. Partly
because the girls look so young and partly because dime-a-dozen journalists from
England and Fox News and wherever come out here for a few days, check out the
nightlife areas where farangs go, and then do a sensational article or TV
special titled something like "Street of Shame!" Of course, it needn't be
said that these dime-a-dozen journalists never venture out into the areas where
Thai men go, some areas which do harbor women who cannot leave; nor do they
spend the time or have the expertise to report on genuine human trafficking
which certainly exists in the Asia-Pacific region. After a few of Fox News
type stories about girls or boys for sale while showing pictures of Washington
Square (Washington Square!) or Nana Plaza, no wonder the poor, befuddled,
pussy-whipped Western male in the West (and his 240-pound mate) thinks we're all
Nataree Massage on Rachadapisek opens at two in the afternoon until midnight.
Young, sweet, succulent, curvaceous, beautiful girls working there. Not
that any of my readers would be interested.
The neon bar signs on Soi Cowboy keep getting bigger and brighter. Now
all we need are the casinos to go with the glitz and the women and we can call
it Las Vegas East. And unlike plastic Las Vegas which is still basically
for mom, pop and the kids, Soi Cowboy rocks!
ANOTHER LETTER THE BANGKOK POST WOULDN'T PRINT
It was predictable that Imtiaz Muqbil would blame the atrocious bombing of
the Marriott Hotel on the West, in particular on Americans fighting the
Taliban - in fact, on everyone but Muslims themselves. Imtiaz is the type of
Muslim who needs to see Muslims as the victim, no matter how horrendous the
act. The truth is many innocents were being killed long before the border war
began and in fact as the Pakistan intelligence service had been at one stage
in cahoots with the terrorists it is a case of the chickens coming home to
roost. Someday Muslims like Muqbil might actually admit that these atrocities
are carried out not because Muslims are victims but because of the jihad
imperative within Islamic theology. Dean Barrett
Although the Post would not print that letter with my real name they did
print one more favorable to Muqbil even though the writer used a pseudonym.
As the Post claims those using their real name get preference they once again
ignored their own guidelines and once again we can see the Bangkok Post for what
it is. I told a friend that I could see only three reasons the Post
allowed a Muslim fanatic a column every two weeks. One, those in charge of
letters are Muslims, two, those in charge of letters are childish enough to like
to stir up controversy regardless of falsehoods and the rantings of a
superficial writer, three, those in charge of letters are assholes.
A friend of mine laughed and said, "Dean, you're a smart guy, but you're an
'ideas' man so you're sometimes a bit naive. They allow pro-Muslim crap
because they make a fortune from the yearly special national day supplements
from Muslim countries. And they are not about to upset their goldmine by
running intelligent articles showing Islam for what it is."
OK, live and learn, he may well be right. But reading the ignorant,
slanted, self-pitying rantings of Imtiaz Muqbil may actually be showing anyone
(who doesn't yet know) what even "moderate" Muslims are like. And in that
sense Muqbil and his pathetic handlers at the Bangkok Post may be doing us all a
$1,000 Lap Dance Defies the Market Slide
Jennifer 8. Lee
As markets have precipitously
declined, business in upscale Manhattan gentlemen’s clubs has jumped.
(Photo: Michelle V. Agins/The New York Times)
The implosion of the financial markets seems to mark the twilight of the
gilded age. History may look back with scorn
$25,000 hot chocolates and
super Sweet 16 parties. The Wall Street
folks, you’d think, seem to
be saying goodbye to all that. Except,
apparently, in one area: strip clubs (or “gentlemen’s clubs,” as they like to
brand themselves). Isn't it nice: there is always
money for a sexual tease no matter how long the breadlines. At least
American men have their priorities straight. Except that they get
basically nothing for US$1,000! Read the whole article
As it is a pretty safe bet that most readers of this column have yet to buy
my book The Go Go Dancer who Stole My Viagra & other Poetical Tragedies of
Thailand I have decided to post one of the poems from the book from time to
time. Some of the poems are serious and some are for fun.
The Night Bubba got it for Free
Bubba wasn't feeling all that well
even before he left the hotel.
But he took his Chlorthalid
for his high blood pressure
and his Toprol
for his heart hesitation
so he felt protected.
And of course his potassium pill
he took with his meal
And one aspirin for his heart
and as he had pain in the toe
Bubba took Indomethacin
which should not be taken with alcohol
as anyone with gout should know.
But despite his lingering fear
Bubba couldn't resist just one more beer.
So it's not hard to tell
when he took the Viagra as well
and got excited over Dang's charms
why Bubba died in Dang's arms
in that short time hotel.
Too bad Bubba didn't live to know
that even after he died that day
his erection continued to grow and grow
and Dang couldn't resist just one more lay.
Which (according to those who should know) was the only time she gave it away.
******************* ******************* *******************
Cross Cultural Confusion (part 2)
One more story in this category: An American friend who speaks fluent Thai
was speaking to a Thai lady from the northeast about the elections in Thailand.
The conversation went like this:
Man: So isn't it true that people in Issarn get paid to vote a certain way?
Woman: Of course.
Man: How about you? Did you take money as well?
Woman: Of course.
Man: How much?
Woman: Five hundred baht.
Man: But when you go to vote if nobody can tell for whom you are voting, then
how does the guy who paid you know if you really voted for him?
Woman (indignant): What! You think Thai people have no ethics?
Me: 'Nuff said?
Now in Bangkok
stores, Bookazine and Asiabooks:
Identity Theft, A Novel
Christmas is coming
- Give Books as Gifts!
The first time in
literary history that a novelist barfines one of his own characters!
NO, NOT JUST
ANOTHER BARGIRL NOVEL EXTOLLING DECADENCE
This is the headline
of a review in the Nation of David Young's latest novel, No Problem
Girl. I have an interview with David on this website and he is indeed
a fine writer. But I have a problem with reviewers who dump on "bargirl
novels". As I said before, it is not the subject that counts but what the writer can do with
the material. Just as one of America's greatest plays, The Iceman
Cometh by Eugene O'Neill, is set entirely in a bar and at the time was
probably dumped on by lots of folks for being set in a bar with hookers and
drunks. I sometimes get the feeling that Bangkok reviewers at least at the
Nation are by and
large a rather puritan bunch, ready to dump on any novel that includes a go go
dancer. As for "extolling decadence," remember: All human emotions are
degrading except lust.
Even after Chuwit beat up a
journalist in public, and said that he felt good after doing so, hundreds of thousands of Thais voted for this thug for
mayor. Very sad. Anyway, it's probably a good thing that Apirak won;
the least of the evils and he might even be a good guy. Preliminary
Lucky You! You have been chosen to receive the blessings of the Snow
AN EXPATRIATE LIVING IN THAILAND
KHUN MICHAEL ("MIKEN") REFLECTS
I am still, after two years, adjusting to my new life. It's like I went to
another planet to live, in many ways. It seems so very weird to me that the
apparently indestructible bindings that held my life together disintegrated
like so much cotton candy in a hot shower when the heat was turned on them.
Bye-bye "Christian" friends. Bye-bye my former wife's family. Bye-bye
long-time work friends. Bye-bye "son" and his family. Bye-bye first wife of
40 years who wants nothing more than a (sometimes) civil business relationship
with me and who would rather die than tell me anything whatsoever about her
BUT two things--one: the "crik" of life flows one way. No paddles are
issued. There ain't no goin' back up the crik. Soooooo....there ain't no use
worryin' about it. And, two: I wish I could have had the life I now have at
a lower price, not only to me, but especially to others (notably my ex-wife).
But in no way would I want to go back to the life I had before, even if I
could. Gradually, living in a small Thai town has come to seem less like an
extended visit to Mexico and more like "home". I no longer flinch when
motorcycles routinely ride up the shoulder of the highway the wrong way
towards me. I am not even vaguely surprised when a car exercises the "right
of eminent domain" and pulls straight out in front of me, figuring, correctly,
that I will stop if I can. My jaw no longer drops when I see people dyeing
their hair, brushing their teeth, picking lice out of kids' hair, or doing
just about any other damn thing on the sidewalk in front of their house. I
don't expect vehicles to necessarily have their lights on at night (real men
don't need headlights and besides, it uses fuel to run the alternator to
generate the electricity for the lights---and, to cap it all off---it wears
out the light bulb!!!
Actually, this concern for wasting fuel is also the explanation for
the driving on the wrong side of the highway---you have to go to a u-turn
break in the median strip to turn around and, since where I'm going is "just
down here a little ways", it just wouldn't make sense to waste all
that gasoline (or diesel)). I am trying to get used to the short term plan
being lunch and the long term plan being Dinner (in those cases where there is
a plan at all, that is). I can now occasionally discern when the answer to
any request (which is inevitably and always, always "yes") means not just not
"yes", and not even "no", but "Hell, no!" And I now work into my plans the
fact that the statement "I'll be there to do that work tomorrow" means only
"You can take it to the bank that I for damned sure won't be there to do that
work today". I am pretty inured to walking into a shop and being waited on by
someone who is evidently about three-fourths asleep and whose experience on
the floor has totaled, at least insofar as can be demonstrated by their
ability to actually help me, the 4 or 5 minutes prior to my walking in.
On the other hand. I live in a gorgeous, rural area with virtually zero
air pollution and very modest water pollution and no traffic congestion. It's
such a small place that still people stop and visit right in the middle of the
road, just like they did back home 50 years ago (in Wyoming, that is). And
Thais are, of course, the world's champions at making the best of life's many
curve balls. So, in every and all exigencies, the first strategic move is to
laugh at life's absurdity and to try (with truly amazing ingenuity) to make
whatever happens be, at least in part, enjoyable and fun. I have a wife who
takes wonderful care of me and worries about me and does everything she can
think of to make my life more enjoyable. And I have a number of ex-pat
friends with whom I can trade lies and drink beer. And, for this year at
least, I have a good job teaching English. And, on a pretty regular basis,
some Thai who owes me nothing and hopes to gain nothing, will show up with one
of this country's patented acts of nearly unbelievable graciousness.
Yesterday, for example, two waitresses in the coffee shop I was at risked life
and limb running into the middle of traffic to save my errant dog from certain
destruction after it panicked, thinking it had been deserted by my wife, and
took off for home down the middle of the town's main street.
So, all in all, life is good.
“Epitaphs of the War” (1914-1918) Rudyard Kipling:
If any question why we died,
Tell them, because our fathers lied.
You'll be happy to know that Chateau Jade
www.chateaujade.com, the leading
house of domination in Bangkok, has created a new and very special adventure
with very special rates. Now you get two mistresses for three hours for
7,000 baht or, if you prefer and think you are man enough to last, two
mistresses for 24 hours for 20,000 baht! And for those daring to venture
beyond vanilla sex there are other great deals as well. (How do you define "leading" in this case?
Number of whips available per mistress? Amount of experience of the
mistresses? Number of satisfied clients? Anyway, don't ask.) Our Lady in Black
Asked at the news conference if he had any message to convey, Mr. Le Clézio
said: “My message will be very clear; it is that I think we have to continue
to read novels. Because I think that the novel is a very good means to
question the current world without having an answer that is too schematic, too
automatic. The novelist, he’s not a philosopher, not a technician of spoken
language. He’s someone who writes, above all, and through the novel asks
questions.” - Winner, 2008 Nobel Prize for Literature, the French writer
Jean-Marie Gustave Le Clézio
Thought you might enjoy this fake Sarah Palin photo making the rounds.
How to be liked by Thai go go dancers and coyote dancers, etc.
I know what you're thinking: what a stupid topic; everybody knows the answer
is simply to spend a lot of money on them. Well, yes, that certainly
helps. But what I have found over the years is that not showing too much
interest in them also helps. Eventually it happens to all of us: you buy a
dancer a drink and she sits with you for a bit and maybe even chats with you a
bit and then she is off to the hongnam or else goes to talk with a friend
and voila! within a minute or two she is having a drink with another guy across
Nobody particularly likes that scene but even when I was a GI stationed in
Thailand during the Vietnam War (Yes, for you young'uns, there was once a war in
Vietnam. We took second place) it didn't bother me much when that
happened. I figured she was making her living and probably even had a
quota of how many drinks per month she had to get or else her salary was cut.
So I didn't get pissed off and complain to the mama-san or call Taksin in London
or whatever. In fact, what I often do now, is point out to these girls
that they won't be young forever and when they are old nobody is going to give
them money and they had better make some now and save wisely. And
furthermore I am just an impoverished writer and wouldn't make a good catch for
even the most over-the-hill bar lady. And then I add that maybe they would
do well to hit on some of the other customers who look like well-heeled
businessmen and sometimes I point out a few.
So then, you see, I am in their camp, on their side.
Sure, still just a customer, but one they can talk with about the quirks of
other customers and they know I am not jai-rorn (hot-headed or
quick-tempered.) And, yes, speaking enough Thai to be able to speak with
them a bit in Thai will do wonders for your popularity. So you bought a
drink for a dancer and she's off with another guy. Hey, he might be one of
her regulars from whom she makes far more money then she'll ever see from a
cheap Charlie like you. So don't sulk; don't complain; don't get your balls in
an uproar. Call over another beauty. And be freaking happy you are
Nope, it's Hanoi! I guess real women cost too much or nag too much or
************************************** ******************* ******************* ******************* *******************
Khun Nana's Corner
Khun Nana is a
savvy local expat who keeps in shape by hitting most of the bars of Nana Plaza
as often as possible. From his vast experience, he will enlighten and
entertain us with his recollections of the bar scene be they humorous, tragic or
somewhere in between.
I had to go to a hospital in Bangkok this week to get
some tests done for a nasty allergy problem that just doesn’t seem to want to go
away. It is absolutely incredible how all the nurses and female staff in
Bangkok hospitals look like models with perfect white skin, slim bodies and
angelic faces. Every time I visit I promise myself to get sick again as soon as
possible. It really is like entering a parallel universe where all the plain
looking women have been shipped off to some foreign land. This particular
occasion my doctor decided that I needed to have some blood taken so I was
escorted off to a nearby room by the second best looking nurse in the unit.
Cursing my foul luck for not having drawn the hottest nurse, I winced a little
bit as the needle was taken out of its protective case. She asked me what was
wrong, and I said that I hated needles and was going to turn my head to the side
and pretend I was in a more pleasant place. Imagine my shock when she stood up,
left the room and returned with the HOT nurse in tow. Then the HOT nurse held
my hand and stroked my arm gently while my blood was being taken in order to
calm me down and make me more comfortable. Now that is customer service. Man
do I love Thailand.
I have an important pointer for all you guys who love
the bar gals as much as I do. Make sure to get their email at the time that you
ask for their mobile number. I had 2 gals visit in the past week that had
changed mobile numbers but were still using the same email address. It turns
out that when they get a “sponsor” who starts sending serious money to them, he
often insists that they change their phone number so that customers can’t find
them. As if that’s actually going to stop the gals from cheating! I have some
prime swamp land I would like to sell these guys and tell them it’s Manhattan.
If you have the email address you will side-step this problem. Believe me it’s
really worth it as the gals tend to be super horny when they have been confined
to spending long periods of time with just one customer. For me personally I
must say I could barely walk this week. One gal is considering going to Germany
to spend 3 months with her sponsor. She asked me in Thai if it’s really boring
making love to the same person for 3 months. My response was “when I was
married I made love to the same woman for more than a year. It was so boring I
often considered suicide.” She changed her trip to 3 weeks. The gals are very
disorganized and rarely write down all of their mobile numbers, so please remind
yourself after each “special” orgasm to get the gal’s mobile number and email
My recent favorite quote comes from a married guy who
said “the only good thing about marriage is that you no longer fear death. You
almost welcome it.”
The little slut called ME a slut! I was having an
unpleasant conversation with a busty young gal the other day who seemed somewhat
disappointed that after several sessions of casual sex I still had no interest
in being her boyfriend. I am sure that my readers know I never use the “R” word
(Dean and his mates at Londoner Pub have a strict policy that anyone who utters
the word "relationsh*p" must pay a fine of 20 baht into a charity box) so when I
only phone a gal for a booty call I feel somewhat justified that she is happy
with the arrangement. Well, this little minx was getting herself all fired up
and using some sarcastic Thai expressions that my Thai language teachers failed
to inform me of. When her eyes swelled up and it seemed she would burst into
tears for sure, she called me “sam-son” in Thai and punched me quite hard in the
I continued to keep my cool (a must if one is going to
be happy in Thailand) and made a dramatic demonstration of taking out my mobile
phone and allowing her to see that I was deleting her number. It was all good
fun to me and I must admit I got a kick out of seeing her so distraught, all the
while assuming that I must be one hell of a lover to bring out such passion in
this tightly bound little bundle of sexuality. She really was a great fu*k but
then the to-do list just keeps getting longer so I was somewhat relieved to part
company with her.
I returned home (chuckling to myself the whole way) and
went straight to my Thai dictionary to look up this unknown word she had used to
describe my character. It translates as “promiscuous.” That little slut called
ME a slut. The nerve of some people. With the frequency of sex most punters
have in this city, I would need to be having sex at least 5 times a day to have
any hope of being worthy of that compliment.
Click on Picture to see the latest American military strategy in Iraq.
Another "Holy shit!" picture.
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Letters from Readers
Hi, I’m a foreign woman who sometimes
disapprove of a elder foreign man and a young Thai woman playing out. I have
a good reason for it. My husband worked both in Yangon and Bangkok for 20
years but I think he stayed more in Bangkok than in Yangon with me and the
family. He promised me he will never have a woman in his life except his wife
but he spent some money on the bars and soapy massage parlors sometimes. I
agreed with him to buy sex when he’s needed. But after all that years, I came
to know that he has a Thai woman who he keeps like a long term girl friend for
more than 10 years. She’s twenty years younger than him , he bought her a
car, and fulfilling facilities which I was never aware of it. After I knew
about his history, I came to hate Thai ladies.
Um, not quite sure what to say to this. I got this e-mail from "Bob and
Oy" or about them. Not sure if it is real or just an internet put-on but
why would a woman hate Thai ladies instead of hating the man who left her for a
Thai lady? My feeling is that the temptations of places like massage
parlors will probably prove too great for a husband and so if a wife agrees with
his going to such places sometimes as long as he brings nothing home by way of
disease, then that is a fantastic wife. Where I would draw the line is if
the guy has had a looong relationship with this woman which involves spending
lots of money while his marriage might be having financial problems. Men
and women will never agree on this kind of thing because, for the most part, our
needs are different; but in my opinion a married man keeping another woman is
the real betrayal, not the occasional mechanical tryst which lasts one or
two hours. And, by the way, I still call Rangoon "Rangoon" not Yangon.
Screw the assholes running Burma.
Attn: Mr. Barr Who Doesn't Care About The Little Guy Anymore (if that is
your real name):
"And, lucky you, Fon is going to appear on a book cover in a new book coming out
soon written by Jesse Gump."
So now I have to spend money to get a pic of Fon? Sweet Jesus on a cracker man
do the tentacles of your publishing empire and greed admit of no shame? What
happened to the dreams and ideals of writer youth that just wanted to write a
good declarative sentence and bring smiles to readers' faces? Now you are part
of a giant International Dean Barrett megalopolis of petrochemicals, and movie
production, and China mainland bridge building, and panty research, and 'Oh Yes'
-- now pics of Fon.
So I just give up. There will be no more pics of Fon in my life. It is time to
move on. My only regret is that I do not live on the fifteenth floor. The fall
would kill me.
From A Reader You Will Never Guess
Alas, Dana is upset! (Probably behavior displacement because he can
only seduce 55-year-old Palin-type hockey moms in Boston bars who lecture him on
how men living in Thailand chasing after succulent young Thai women are
"socially inept" and "afraid of accomplished older women" and blah, blah, blah.)
But Khun Dana, you needn't spend a bloody satang to see Fon on the cover because
I will be putting Jesse's cover up on a future column when the book is out!
So you jumped to the wrong conclusion, Mein Herr. If you have read my
columns by now you should know I have little interest in money and far more
interest in lovely Asian women. I would say that has been my Achilles's
heel but not sure I can spell "Achilles" so I won't. Anyway, I hope you
continue to have illuminating conversations with America's hockey moms and you
have a good day in Boston. As the governor of the fairly large igloo
called Alaska probably said, "Dang it, God created American men to be with
American women like it says in the constitution and the Bible so both sexes can shoot moose
from helicopters and fire a few rounds off toward Russia while praising the
Lord." P.S. What about the 14th floor? That might work.
Links You Might Enjoy
A video of a
five-minute walk down Soi Cowboy. Click here and then click "preview videos."
Like to check out some bars
Like to know what music is playing where in Bangkok each week? Try
Like to know more in depth
about what music is playing where in Bangkok each week? Try this great site:
Tired of shoveling snow?
Check out Bangkok's sunshine.
Bangkok's weather report.
A great site for listening to Thai Morlan music and other folk music
of Southeast Asia.
A bit of black leather never hurts. But she does.
Our Lady in Black
Like to learn a bit about retiring in Asia?
Maps of all the provinces of Thailand
Listen to RadioBangkok.net
Helping Kids in Thailand